it's only been 2 months since the last one, so i'm picking up my frequency ;-)
anyhow. the master's thesis is in. aside from accounting this quarter, i'm not worried about the remainder of my academic career. i AM, however, still waiting to hear from DHS. 30 is right around the corner. the holidays are nearly over (thank god...)
i've been dicking around all break. mostly watching shitty movies, surfing the interwebs, chatting w/ friends, and playing the new wii. i have been somewhat productive though, i managed to clean the living room (mostly). and have been getting laid w/ some manner of regularity. hell, i've even managed to make some progress on a book and a crochet project.
i'm seriously considering taking another stab at my other blog(s) that have been neglected for far too long. this quarter shouldn't be too bad for me. classes w&h, work w, h & f. that gives me 4 full days to get stuff done... hopefully, skiing at Gore Mtn. will be on that list. maybe another weekend @ holiday valley.
and while i'm at it - i'm thinking of doing 2 half-marathons this year. the capital city classic and the buffalo half marathon. both in may. let's hope i can get my lazy ass training again.
some pertinent countdowns for life here:
CREW season opener: 90 days
the jacket's humiliating season ends: 103 days
capital city classic: 125 days
buffalo half marathon: 154 days
graduation: 168 days
28 December 2009
27 October 2009
starting to freak out - post 32
so, i made it through the 1st round and ended up w/ an interview for DHS. interview's tomorrow & i'm freaking out a little bit... part of me sees this as a great opportunity to get in w/ the feds and end up w/ a decent job & a GS-12 pay rate at the end of the 2-year program. the other part of me sees it as having to pick up and leave cowtown and start a new life in DC, which as we know isn't one of my top 10 cities....
no clue what will happen... i don't know if i'll get it or if i'll even make it through this 2nd round. but if i do - no more CREW matches, no hanging out w/ my peeps here, no rush CBJ, good-bye to my hockey team, good-bye to #1 (http://victorscrazylife.blogspot.com/2009/04/intro-post-1.html). i'll have to find a new Lodge, new friends, new place to play hockey or take up a new sport...
i have no idea what to think about this, and i'm starting to freak the fuck out over it. and it's still something that might not even happen...
no clue what will happen... i don't know if i'll get it or if i'll even make it through this 2nd round. but if i do - no more CREW matches, no hanging out w/ my peeps here, no rush CBJ, good-bye to my hockey team, good-bye to #1 (http://victorscrazylife.blogspot.com/2009/04/intro-post-1.html). i'll have to find a new Lodge, new friends, new place to play hockey or take up a new sport...
i have no idea what to think about this, and i'm starting to freak the fuck out over it. and it's still something that might not even happen...
08 October 2009
we are... i am.... - post 31
in what seems a lifetime ago, i was sitting on a couch w/ the 20 y/o (#2) right when we were starting to figure out what was going on w/ us. we took turns telling each other issues in our lives that preceded us starting to see each other. when we each said what we had to she made a small, single, humourless laugh and said:
"god, we are two of the most fucked up people in the world."ages ago... back sometime in february... yet today, i found myself looking at myself, my life, where i am, where i might go. like her, without humour, i smiled to myself and realized something - she was right (if nothing else, at least, about me).
06 October 2009
athena - post 30
hokay... and we're back to our regularly scheduled programming and topical matter.
i'm going to say a name, and those who have known me for a number of years will sigh collectively and say something to the effects of "dear god... HER AGAIN?!??!?"
athena.
in grecian mythology, one of the many names for the goddess athena was "the grey eyed goddess". in my lexicon it refers to the girl who is the root of so very many of my issues. she w/ the grey eyes, rocking little body, the bestest kisser, and the root of one of the best nights i've had - my sweet, beautiful goddess athena.
so, we hooked up, it was fun, and i was instantly full of regret that we never dated. from then until this past february (when i started seeing the 20 y/o) i thought about her way too frequently and tried to figure out what i could have changed. then, she was out of my thoughts for months... gone. until one day, i saw her name (her real name) and i allowed a brief thought of her. as the past few months have gone by, i've thought of her more....
sometimes, it sickens me that i can't put her out of my mind. the rest of the time, i wish i could have done the things necessary for her and i to have had a chance together.
i can't have her. i can't stop wanting her. i've compared every girl since to her. i've actually dated 2 b/c of similar features / mannerisms.... i need to figure out how to do one of two things: get her or forget about her forever.
now the interactive part: ideas? go!
i'm going to say a name, and those who have known me for a number of years will sigh collectively and say something to the effects of "dear god... HER AGAIN?!??!?"
athena.
in grecian mythology, one of the many names for the goddess athena was "the grey eyed goddess". in my lexicon it refers to the girl who is the root of so very many of my issues. she w/ the grey eyes, rocking little body, the bestest kisser, and the root of one of the best nights i've had - my sweet, beautiful goddess athena.
so, we hooked up, it was fun, and i was instantly full of regret that we never dated. from then until this past february (when i started seeing the 20 y/o) i thought about her way too frequently and tried to figure out what i could have changed. then, she was out of my thoughts for months... gone. until one day, i saw her name (her real name) and i allowed a brief thought of her. as the past few months have gone by, i've thought of her more....
sometimes, it sickens me that i can't put her out of my mind. the rest of the time, i wish i could have done the things necessary for her and i to have had a chance together.
i can't have her. i can't stop wanting her. i've compared every girl since to her. i've actually dated 2 b/c of similar features / mannerisms.... i need to figure out how to do one of two things: get her or forget about her forever.
now the interactive part: ideas? go!
11 September 2009
a very rare serious post - post 29
on a day when most people are suddenly concerned w/ the loss of life b/c of the terrorist attacks 11 sept 2001 that killed 2,993 people (including hijackers) i'd like to remind everyone of a few other events that should be remembered...
1933-1945 - 6,000,000 to 17,000,000 dead (depending on groups included) - WWII Holocaust
1966-2001 - 3,526 dead - "The Troubles" (N. Ireland / England conflicts)
1975-1979 - 2,000,000 dead (Cambodian est.) - Khmer Rouge / Pol Pot rule of Cambodia
1992-1995 - 200,000 dead (US gov't est) - Srebrenica Genocide / Slobodan Milosevic rule of Serbia
26 feb 1993 - 6 dead - bombing of the World Trade Center
06 apr - mid july 1994 - 1,017,000 dead (Rwandan gov't est.) - Rwandan Genocide
20 mar 1995 - 12 dead - sarin gas attack Tokyo, Japan subway
19 apr 1995 - 168 dead - Oklahoma City bombing
2003-2009 - 400,000+ (UN est) - Darfur
11 mar 2004 - 91 dead - bombing of 3 Madrid, Spain commuter trains
and this is not including the deaths this century of combatants and civilians during WWI, WWII, Korea, Vietnam, Russian Civil War, Congo Civil War(s), Afghan Civil War, ongoing conflicts in Iraq or Afghanistan, Stalin's Regime, Armenian / Assyrian genocides in Turkey, ongoing Israeli / Palestinian hostilities... and even this still isn't an all inclusive list...
so remember - the US is far from the only nation / people to experience tragedy this century...
1933-1945 - 6,000,000 to 17,000,000 dead (depending on groups included) - WWII Holocaust
1966-2001 - 3,526 dead - "The Troubles" (N. Ireland / England conflicts)
1975-1979 - 2,000,000 dead (Cambodian est.) - Khmer Rouge / Pol Pot rule of Cambodia
1992-1995 - 200,000 dead (US gov't est) - Srebrenica Genocide / Slobodan Milosevic rule of Serbia
26 feb 1993 - 6 dead - bombing of the World Trade Center
06 apr - mid july 1994 - 1,017,000 dead (Rwandan gov't est.) - Rwandan Genocide
20 mar 1995 - 12 dead - sarin gas attack Tokyo, Japan subway
19 apr 1995 - 168 dead - Oklahoma City bombing
2003-2009 - 400,000+ (UN est) - Darfur
11 mar 2004 - 91 dead - bombing of 3 Madrid, Spain commuter trains
and this is not including the deaths this century of combatants and civilians during WWI, WWII, Korea, Vietnam, Russian Civil War, Congo Civil War(s), Afghan Civil War, ongoing conflicts in Iraq or Afghanistan, Stalin's Regime, Armenian / Assyrian genocides in Turkey, ongoing Israeli / Palestinian hostilities... and even this still isn't an all inclusive list...
so remember - the US is far from the only nation / people to experience tragedy this century...
31 August 2009
the more things change - post 28
so, an undergrad degree and a year of grad school down and i'm returning to my pre-university roots and hopping back behind the wheel of a semi and doing some regional stuff again. should be fun... '05 freightshaker w/ a 475 kitty cat hooked up to an eaton 10. all flat roads. this ought to work out nicely ;-)
28 August 2009
i like - post 27
i really like blogs... you know why? they provide their frustrated creator with the delusional outlet of being a published author. it's sort of like how prison wardens let the psychotic inmates scribble "poetry" on their cell walls so they don't beat their bunkmates with a toilet seat.
- shamelessly pilfered from steven pastis and pearls before swine 28 nov 2008.
to all of my dedicated readers, i think there's 5 of you now. ahem... anyhow.... now that the quarter is over i, like totally promise and stuff, that i'll consider posting more frequently,
- shamelessly pilfered from steven pastis and pearls before swine 28 nov 2008.
to all of my dedicated readers, i think there's 5 of you now. ahem... anyhow.... now that the quarter is over i, like totally promise and stuff, that i'll consider posting more frequently,
17 August 2009
hmmm - post 26
sex... lies... videotapes?!?!? hmmm?!?!?
well - there's no videotapes.
lies.... been trying to keep those to a minimum. but alas: victims, aren't we all?
sex: bow-chikka-bah-wow
it's sad to say, but victor's crazy life hasn't been all that crazy as of late. school is eating up a majority of my time whilst the yield is not as significant as i'd like for it to be.
my 12 in 12 has fallen apart. finances make dating / going out pretty unrealistic. and i'd still like to fuck the pale out of a ginger. and all the while - i've begun to think of my beautiful goddess Athena, once again. yet thoughts of #'s 2,3,&4 have been non-existent - aside from random anger towards the way #2 acted. either way - i'm in this odd limbo, with no real plans or ambition towards women right now... it's a strange place for me & somewhere i've not been in the memorable past. i guess once classes end in a few weeks, i can try to figure out what the fuck is up w/ me and straighten shit out again :-\
well - there's no videotapes.
lies.... been trying to keep those to a minimum. but alas: victims, aren't we all?
sex: bow-chikka-bah-wow
it's sad to say, but victor's crazy life hasn't been all that crazy as of late. school is eating up a majority of my time whilst the yield is not as significant as i'd like for it to be.
my 12 in 12 has fallen apart. finances make dating / going out pretty unrealistic. and i'd still like to fuck the pale out of a ginger. and all the while - i've begun to think of my beautiful goddess Athena, once again. yet thoughts of #'s 2,3,&4 have been non-existent - aside from random anger towards the way #2 acted. either way - i'm in this odd limbo, with no real plans or ambition towards women right now... it's a strange place for me & somewhere i've not been in the memorable past. i guess once classes end in a few weeks, i can try to figure out what the fuck is up w/ me and straighten shit out again :-\
28 July 2009
a good sign - post 25
so tonight i'm heading home from my usual monday night activities and i get a call...
"hey, just calling to see if you want to come over and hang out for a bit before going to bed"
for future reference - this is, in fact, a good sign :-D
"hey, just calling to see if you want to come over and hang out for a bit before going to bed"
for future reference - this is, in fact, a good sign :-D
25 July 2009
a long month - post 24
*sigh*
it's been a long, long month since my last post. where to start?
school.... not a whole lot of working. burning time trying to be productive. keeping costs under control. there's been a steep decline in the amount of drinking that has been occurring. there's also been a lack of interest in trying to p/u chix.
so, a week ago yesterday i called up the ex (#1) and we went out to surly girl for dinner. we've hung out a few times since then...
so, yeah... that's a thing now. ah, well - we'll see how shit goes.
it's been a long, long month since my last post. where to start?
school.... not a whole lot of working. burning time trying to be productive. keeping costs under control. there's been a steep decline in the amount of drinking that has been occurring. there's also been a lack of interest in trying to p/u chix.
so, a week ago yesterday i called up the ex (#1) and we went out to surly girl for dinner. we've hung out a few times since then...
so, yeah... that's a thing now. ah, well - we'll see how shit goes.
25 June 2009
dictionary definition - post 23
dinner and drink whore (noun)
1. a female who approaches a male at a bar and asks for a drink prior to telling him she is in a relationship.
2. a female who goes out with a male for the sole purpose of his buying her dinner (and / or other trinkets) while she has no interest in actually dating said male.
3. a heartless bitch who acts interested in a male just to see what she can get out of him (dinner, drinks, trinkets, ego boost by ruining his relationship / marriage, etc.)
1. a female who approaches a male at a bar and asks for a drink prior to telling him she is in a relationship.
2. a female who goes out with a male for the sole purpose of his buying her dinner (and / or other trinkets) while she has no interest in actually dating said male.
3. a heartless bitch who acts interested in a male just to see what she can get out of him (dinner, drinks, trinkets, ego boost by ruining his relationship / marriage, etc.)
16 June 2009
Can I do a shot? - Post 22
okay - so i'm up at Stone Lab taking a class (on an island near s. bass isl - home of put in bay, ohio). this trip is not going to end well for me!!!!
me and 5 others up here for a different class decide to take the water taxi up to put in bay and have a couple of drinks... i think i had 9... 1st bar we went to was a microbrewery, pretty empty. everyone else had a beer, i had a shot and a mixed drink. there were a few chix from a bachelorette party... didn't pay them too much attention. we had our drinks and decided to migrate. went to a bar w/ "the longest bar in the world"... i sat down, ordered a shot and a drink. they have nothing on tap and most of their beer is in 16oz cans. my mates didn't want to stay so i slammed my drinks.
well, the girls from the bachelorete party come over and say "hey, could one of you guys sit down so i can do a shot from in between your legs???" the 2 guys i was standing there with were blown away (and quite a bit older) the 3 lasses we were with were away from the bar. i said something to the effect of "wow - that's really inappropriate". she looked a little sad when no one took her up on it. so i said "inappropriate, maybe - but i didn't say i wouldn't do it ;-)" so i sit down ad bury the drink right at the "Y" and she heads for it, wraps her lips around it, and tosses her head back and slams it! she didn't spill a drop :-D
she thanked me, i signed her shirt for her and we traded a couple of hugs *awww*
the group and i continued on w/ our night... went to a place called the roundhouse and there was a pretty good band from detroit playing "the killer flamingos". excellent mix of covers... katy perry, all american rejects, kings of leon, lady gaga, michael jackson.... the list goes on. had a lot more drinks there. bought a drink for on of the lasses up here w/ us. she's from columbus as well ;-) who knows...
they also have this giant jar of cherrys marinading in 151... so i bought a round of those for everyone.
today (tues) is going to be fucking brutal... hung over... on a boat in lake erie for 6 hrs....
and plan on heading to put in bay again at night!!! this past week (i'll post in a day or two the details from the end of last week) indicates that this summer is going to be fucking spectacular or an epic fail... i'm hoping it's starting to lean towards the spectacular!!!!
me and 5 others up here for a different class decide to take the water taxi up to put in bay and have a couple of drinks... i think i had 9... 1st bar we went to was a microbrewery, pretty empty. everyone else had a beer, i had a shot and a mixed drink. there were a few chix from a bachelorette party... didn't pay them too much attention. we had our drinks and decided to migrate. went to a bar w/ "the longest bar in the world"... i sat down, ordered a shot and a drink. they have nothing on tap and most of their beer is in 16oz cans. my mates didn't want to stay so i slammed my drinks.
well, the girls from the bachelorete party come over and say "hey, could one of you guys sit down so i can do a shot from in between your legs???" the 2 guys i was standing there with were blown away (and quite a bit older) the 3 lasses we were with were away from the bar. i said something to the effect of "wow - that's really inappropriate". she looked a little sad when no one took her up on it. so i said "inappropriate, maybe - but i didn't say i wouldn't do it ;-)" so i sit down ad bury the drink right at the "Y" and she heads for it, wraps her lips around it, and tosses her head back and slams it! she didn't spill a drop :-D
she thanked me, i signed her shirt for her and we traded a couple of hugs *awww*
the group and i continued on w/ our night... went to a place called the roundhouse and there was a pretty good band from detroit playing "the killer flamingos". excellent mix of covers... katy perry, all american rejects, kings of leon, lady gaga, michael jackson.... the list goes on. had a lot more drinks there. bought a drink for on of the lasses up here w/ us. she's from columbus as well ;-) who knows...
they also have this giant jar of cherrys marinading in 151... so i bought a round of those for everyone.
today (tues) is going to be fucking brutal... hung over... on a boat in lake erie for 6 hrs....
and plan on heading to put in bay again at night!!! this past week (i'll post in a day or two the details from the end of last week) indicates that this summer is going to be fucking spectacular or an epic fail... i'm hoping it's starting to lean towards the spectacular!!!!
05 June 2009
follow up on #4 - post 21
i spoke w/ my buddy D a few days back and we were talking about #4 (since he's the friend i met her through)... apparently they spoke a few days before, and the topic that she and i went out came up. he asked her how it was and allegedly she had a really good time and thought i was a good guy.
she asked if he knew what i was looking for (relationship, friends, etc). to which he replied something to the effect of "its really up in the air - you know, whatever" [i'm sure he'll correct me if i'm way off on this...]
so - he turned the question around and asked if she was looking for any kind of relationship. she's not. ergo, i will be no more than a friend.
my 12 in 12 isn't going all that well. i wasted too much time w/ #3 until she told me she was "kinda seeing someone". haven't even been on a date since the one w/ #4 (nearly a month ago, now). recalled m's b/f. jessie was the only new chick i've talked to (see post 20).
rough shit, man.
she asked if he knew what i was looking for (relationship, friends, etc). to which he replied something to the effect of "its really up in the air - you know, whatever" [i'm sure he'll correct me if i'm way off on this...]
so - he turned the question around and asked if she was looking for any kind of relationship. she's not. ergo, i will be no more than a friend.
my 12 in 12 isn't going all that well. i wasted too much time w/ #3 until she told me she was "kinda seeing someone". haven't even been on a date since the one w/ #4 (nearly a month ago, now). recalled m's b/f. jessie was the only new chick i've talked to (see post 20).
rough shit, man.
ugh - post 20
it's been rough... last week of classes, major project, major paper. more than a few nights in the computer lab @ school working on those until nearly 0300 a couple of nights, back at 1000. it's been epically brutal!
i've been having to behave myself b/c of work and school, and i drank more tonight than i did in the past 2.5 weeks. went out for ~5.5hrs. hit surly girl for dinner and drinks, then drinks at short north tavern, mac's, la fogat grill, press grille, and callahan's... i ♥ the end of the quarter!!!!
so the cute classmate - m* - i was planning on asking her out after class. but then it hit me while checking out her cycling attire.. i was interested in her last quarter and tried talking to her, but she started talking about her boyfriend.
so it was - another pretty one that i'm not going to have a chance with.
while at mac's some girl comes up and sits next to me, so i start talking to her. jessie. not at all my type, but shit man, it's all about proximity. then she says she's waiting on her b/f... oh well - wasn't really interested anyhow. but i found out that talking about murder rates is a bad idea - according to D... so, you know... i like, learned something, or something...
i have to say - i was less than impressed w/ the talent pool out tonight. and umm... yeah...
i've been having to behave myself b/c of work and school, and i drank more tonight than i did in the past 2.5 weeks. went out for ~5.5hrs. hit surly girl for dinner and drinks, then drinks at short north tavern, mac's, la fogat grill, press grille, and callahan's... i ♥ the end of the quarter!!!!
so the cute classmate - m* - i was planning on asking her out after class. but then it hit me while checking out her cycling attire.. i was interested in her last quarter and tried talking to her, but she started talking about her boyfriend.
so it was - another pretty one that i'm not going to have a chance with.
while at mac's some girl comes up and sits next to me, so i start talking to her. jessie. not at all my type, but shit man, it's all about proximity. then she says she's waiting on her b/f... oh well - wasn't really interested anyhow. but i found out that talking about murder rates is a bad idea - according to D... so, you know... i like, learned something, or something...
i have to say - i was less than impressed w/ the talent pool out tonight. and umm... yeah...
02 June 2009
feeling sick - post 19
not ill - but sick to my stomach.
i did something i needed to do, but as usual - my timing sucks. like i said a few posts ago, i was still interested in the girl i dated in feb/mar (girl #2 from post 1) and wanted to try to give things between us another chance. we didn't talk for about a month after we broke up. then we started talking a little. it wasn't anything near the conversations we had before we started to see each other that made me fall for her, but it was something...
it took me so long to work up the courage to have the following conversation with her. i was so nervous that my stomach felt odd and i felt a little tremor in my hands as i typed it out:
[...]
victor 10:17
can i ask you something
girl #2 10:17
ask away
victor 10:19
would you be interested in giving things between us another try over summer - when, in theory, both of our lives will be far less insane than they were earlier in the year
girl #2 10:19
probably not, i am giving the guy that is fixing my bike a chance
victor 10:21
good deal... i hope things work out for you
girl #2 10:20
thanks
you have disconnected
10:28
after her final response, i felt sick. my hands were shaking w/ nerves and from being upset. all i wanted to do was to have a drink. none of my friends were available, so i left school and drove home. stopped at a gas station and bought some pepsi to have w/ my rum... i couldn't focus on my paper or project due in two days. i can't focus on anything other than trying to chat w/ a few classmates that are online right now - just to take my mind off of it.
i'm pretty upset... but i'm trying to convince myself i needed this. her slamming the door shut on me, that is. i hooked up w/ a friend a while back and our friendship just ended w/ no closure - it left me hurt and wanting her for nearly 2.5yrs. it ruined my relationship w/ the ex. it basically fucked me up more than anything else in memory.
now that i have this level of closure - i can move on, right? put her behind me, not talk to her anymore, not think that maybe there can still be something between us, and get on with my fucking life - right?
i hope this is what i needed and that i can move on and not get hung up on her.
now... there's this cute little blonde girl in two of my classes. we talked a little bit last week and she seemed pleasant. i introduced myself "officially" today. i think thursday i'm going to ask her how next week (exam week) looks for her and see if she would like to go out with me...
if only i can put this and all of my papers and projects behind me between now and thursday and sack up to ask her... will post and let you know how things go!
i did something i needed to do, but as usual - my timing sucks. like i said a few posts ago, i was still interested in the girl i dated in feb/mar (girl #2 from post 1) and wanted to try to give things between us another chance. we didn't talk for about a month after we broke up. then we started talking a little. it wasn't anything near the conversations we had before we started to see each other that made me fall for her, but it was something...
it took me so long to work up the courage to have the following conversation with her. i was so nervous that my stomach felt odd and i felt a little tremor in my hands as i typed it out:
[...]
victor 10:17
can i ask you something
girl #2 10:17
ask away
victor 10:19
would you be interested in giving things between us another try over summer - when, in theory, both of our lives will be far less insane than they were earlier in the year
girl #2 10:19
probably not, i am giving the guy that is fixing my bike a chance
victor 10:21
good deal... i hope things work out for you
girl #2 10:20
thanks
you have disconnected
10:28
after her final response, i felt sick. my hands were shaking w/ nerves and from being upset. all i wanted to do was to have a drink. none of my friends were available, so i left school and drove home. stopped at a gas station and bought some pepsi to have w/ my rum... i couldn't focus on my paper or project due in two days. i can't focus on anything other than trying to chat w/ a few classmates that are online right now - just to take my mind off of it.
i'm pretty upset... but i'm trying to convince myself i needed this. her slamming the door shut on me, that is. i hooked up w/ a friend a while back and our friendship just ended w/ no closure - it left me hurt and wanting her for nearly 2.5yrs. it ruined my relationship w/ the ex. it basically fucked me up more than anything else in memory.
now that i have this level of closure - i can move on, right? put her behind me, not talk to her anymore, not think that maybe there can still be something between us, and get on with my fucking life - right?
i hope this is what i needed and that i can move on and not get hung up on her.
now... there's this cute little blonde girl in two of my classes. we talked a little bit last week and she seemed pleasant. i introduced myself "officially" today. i think thursday i'm going to ask her how next week (exam week) looks for her and see if she would like to go out with me...
if only i can put this and all of my papers and projects behind me between now and thursday and sack up to ask her... will post and let you know how things go!
24 May 2009
fuck it - post 18
fuck it - i quit....
tonight i realized that whatever it was i thought was "confidence" or "fearlessness" is gone. my ability to approach is currently non-existent. once again, i find myself terrified - not of rejection, but rather, of the evil D&D whores. there's too many girls w/ bf's and it's getting hard to tell which ones are single and interested. especially when the one's w/ bf's (or are "kinda seeing someone, nothing official or anything") still want to talk to you and let you buy them a drink or take them to dinner.
i don't care...
i was at a party where they rented out the lower level of Hampton's and it was kinda cool. i couldn't figure out what was up w/ the chix. who was w/ who? who might of been interested. there were only a couple of chix i would've been interested, but intermittently they would be hanging off some dude(s) or dancing w/ other guys. i was too intimidated to even approach them.
clubs and loud places don't work for me. i agree w/ a friend's apprehension about girls met in a bar. where should i look? at the library or the grocer's market?
fuck it.... i don't care right now.
i have 2 tix for the symphony this weekend. i even asked for the shift off from work. i've asked the girl i dated in feb if she'd go w/ me... thus far she's ignored me (#2 from post 1 - if you're keeping score). i also asked the ex (girl #1 from post 1) she said no, so i asked if she had any single friends who would be interested in going. that ended as delightfully as one would expect. idk who to ask. maybe i'll just eat the cost of the ticket and go alone.... pick up some chick there. you know, b/c that's so likely to happen.
FML
tonight i realized that whatever it was i thought was "confidence" or "fearlessness" is gone. my ability to approach is currently non-existent. once again, i find myself terrified - not of rejection, but rather, of the evil D&D whores. there's too many girls w/ bf's and it's getting hard to tell which ones are single and interested. especially when the one's w/ bf's (or are "kinda seeing someone, nothing official or anything") still want to talk to you and let you buy them a drink or take them to dinner.
i don't care...
i was at a party where they rented out the lower level of Hampton's and it was kinda cool. i couldn't figure out what was up w/ the chix. who was w/ who? who might of been interested. there were only a couple of chix i would've been interested, but intermittently they would be hanging off some dude(s) or dancing w/ other guys. i was too intimidated to even approach them.
clubs and loud places don't work for me. i agree w/ a friend's apprehension about girls met in a bar. where should i look? at the library or the grocer's market?
fuck it.... i don't care right now.
i have 2 tix for the symphony this weekend. i even asked for the shift off from work. i've asked the girl i dated in feb if she'd go w/ me... thus far she's ignored me (#2 from post 1 - if you're keeping score). i also asked the ex (girl #1 from post 1) she said no, so i asked if she had any single friends who would be interested in going. that ended as delightfully as one would expect. idk who to ask. maybe i'll just eat the cost of the ticket and go alone.... pick up some chick there. you know, b/c that's so likely to happen.
FML
21 May 2009
random thought of the day - post 17
i can't explain it at all - but for some reason i have this overwhelming urge to try to reel in a ginger and fuck the pale out of her....
this concludes the random thought of the day. carry on.
this concludes the random thought of the day. carry on.
17 May 2009
randoms - post 16
i'm freaking the fuck out... at this point, i have no idea if i'll still be in grad school next year. my gpa isn't doing as well as it needs to be & i'm having a really hard time caring about my classes this quarter. i've tried, but i can't do it :-(
ever since the break-up (w/ #1), i've been trying to get my shit together and get back on stuff. i thought it was getting better, then the break up w/ #2 rolled around. that's when i started drinking more and trying to go out everynight that i'm not working until 0130 or later. i didn't really care too much whether or not things worked out w/ #3, i knew she wasn't LT potential - but thought we could've had some fun together. as for #4.... i'm not counting on hearing from her for a follow up date.
the other realization i had today (while talking w/ #2) is that i've lost my ability to read people. it used to be almost 2nd nature to me... but now - i feel lost, w/ out a map, and clearly lacking a clue....
as for options for summer (should i not be in school anymore) i'm looking to get an OTR driving job, home everynight though, so that could work. and the pay would be solid as well - at least in comparison to the weak ass pay i've made these past 5 years.
i'm also more and more seriously considering my prior thoughts of freelance writing / photography... idk if anything will come of it - but i'm going to try to make some moves to move it closer to being a reality. sooo - that may mean there'll be more posts (some, like this one, fairly unrelated to dating) just for the writing experience. i will label those "randoms - post ##).
now, it looks like i'll be working on finding #5 by the end of the month - i have tix to the season finale of CSO and would like to go w/ a pretty lass dressed up nice and cute like... i'm not making horrible progress on my 12 in 12 goal :-/
ever since the break-up (w/ #1), i've been trying to get my shit together and get back on stuff. i thought it was getting better, then the break up w/ #2 rolled around. that's when i started drinking more and trying to go out everynight that i'm not working until 0130 or later. i didn't really care too much whether or not things worked out w/ #3, i knew she wasn't LT potential - but thought we could've had some fun together. as for #4.... i'm not counting on hearing from her for a follow up date.
the other realization i had today (while talking w/ #2) is that i've lost my ability to read people. it used to be almost 2nd nature to me... but now - i feel lost, w/ out a map, and clearly lacking a clue....
as for options for summer (should i not be in school anymore) i'm looking to get an OTR driving job, home everynight though, so that could work. and the pay would be solid as well - at least in comparison to the weak ass pay i've made these past 5 years.
i'm also more and more seriously considering my prior thoughts of freelance writing / photography... idk if anything will come of it - but i'm going to try to make some moves to move it closer to being a reality. sooo - that may mean there'll be more posts (some, like this one, fairly unrelated to dating) just for the writing experience. i will label those "randoms - post ##).
now, it looks like i'll be working on finding #5 by the end of the month - i have tix to the season finale of CSO and would like to go w/ a pretty lass dressed up nice and cute like... i'm not making horrible progress on my 12 in 12 goal :-/
14 May 2009
untitled - post 15
a run down:
(from post 1)
#1 - has informed me that she doesn't even want to talk to me for the foreseeable future
#2 - i've tried a couple of times to ask her to do things w/ me (movie, the veronicas concert, lunch, ladies 80s) - she's agreed to a couple, then cxld (should actually be expected from her....)
#3 - we're civil to each other in class, but i have no desire to hang out w/ her outside of class
(from post 11)
#4 - idk... i asked her to the veronicas concert when we went out sunday, but that didn't fly. tried to see if she wanted to go out today (it was last minute since the weather cleared, so i didn't really expect she would), then i asked her if she was interested in ladies 80s tonight, but rec'd no response.
E filled me in on the fuzzier details w/ the most beautiful women i had ever seen... apparently i asked her out, but she said she had a b/f... :-(
prospects are starting to look a little bleak(ish) especially since i don't go too many places other than school, work, and out w/ friends... i'm silently plotting my next move. i guess.
:-/
(from post 1)
#1 - has informed me that she doesn't even want to talk to me for the foreseeable future
#2 - i've tried a couple of times to ask her to do things w/ me (movie, the veronicas concert, lunch, ladies 80s) - she's agreed to a couple, then cxld (should actually be expected from her....)
#3 - we're civil to each other in class, but i have no desire to hang out w/ her outside of class
(from post 11)
#4 - idk... i asked her to the veronicas concert when we went out sunday, but that didn't fly. tried to see if she wanted to go out today (it was last minute since the weather cleared, so i didn't really expect she would), then i asked her if she was interested in ladies 80s tonight, but rec'd no response.
E filled me in on the fuzzier details w/ the most beautiful women i had ever seen... apparently i asked her out, but she said she had a b/f... :-(
prospects are starting to look a little bleak(ish) especially since i don't go too many places other than school, work, and out w/ friends... i'm silently plotting my next move. i guess.
:-/
13 May 2009
zomg - post 14
okay - last night (12 may 2009) was an AMAZING concert.... australian pop group The Veronicas @ skully's. it was unreal! i couldn't keep my eyes off jess at all. or our bartender. she was the most beautiful woman i've seen - in my life. even more so than my beautiful girl i dated earlier this year. i chatted w/ her while getting our drinks and a bit more after the show. i talked her into hanging out for a bit after and buying a drink for her (to make up for the fact that i started my tab downstairs i had to close it down there so she wouldn't get the tip). things start getting fuzzy after that shot. i'm pretty sure i tried to pick her up... i'm not entirely sure. since i couldn't find any new numbers in my phone or pocket, i'm assuming i got shot down :-(
i ended up going to the show w/ my good friend E since the new girl i went out w/ on sunday couldn't go and i ran through my list of potentials pretty quickly.... she'd never heard of the Veronicas, but ended up enjoying the show (i think).
fortunately, i remember the entire show and enjoyed it quite a bit... it's after the show that things started getting lost...
i ended up going to the show w/ my good friend E since the new girl i went out w/ on sunday couldn't go and i ran through my list of potentials pretty quickly.... she'd never heard of the Veronicas, but ended up enjoying the show (i think).
fortunately, i remember the entire show and enjoyed it quite a bit... it's after the show that things started getting lost...
11 May 2009
date recap - post 13
yesterday (sunday 10 may 2009) i went on a date w/ a bright, interesting, and adorable young woman. and today, i'm not sure how to write this recap...
i picked her up @ 1330 and we went down to the arena district to watch the new star trek movie. we walked to the north market and had some ice cream for desert @ a local boutique shop. from there we walked through the short north and talked. ended up going into surly girl for lunch, since we were already all the way at the north end of the short north. we talked during lunch. walked back towards the arena district. walked through the park on the way back to the car.
nearly to the car i finally got he nerve up to put an arm around her & on her back.... told her i really enjoyed spending the day w/ her and that we'll have to do it again. she said yeah... i quickly added "if you're interested, that is" to which she responded "it's worth giving it another try" (or something pretty damn close to that).
i didn't know how to take that. she said she's just slow to warm up to people. D told me not to worry about it too much and not to read too much into it... i'm trying to take that to heart.
we may go to a concert on tuesday... we may go to one of the parks to take some pictures on thursday....
her eyes are so bright and curious, searching... i wish i really knew what other people saw when they looked at me - i've never found the mirror too impressive... what does she see? what did my beautiful co-worker see? what did.... you get the point.
the date started and ended w/ a set of hugs. i guess they served as bookends for the day.
i picked her up @ 1330 and we went down to the arena district to watch the new star trek movie. we walked to the north market and had some ice cream for desert @ a local boutique shop. from there we walked through the short north and talked. ended up going into surly girl for lunch, since we were already all the way at the north end of the short north. we talked during lunch. walked back towards the arena district. walked through the park on the way back to the car.
nearly to the car i finally got he nerve up to put an arm around her & on her back.... told her i really enjoyed spending the day w/ her and that we'll have to do it again. she said yeah... i quickly added "if you're interested, that is" to which she responded "it's worth giving it another try" (or something pretty damn close to that).
i didn't know how to take that. she said she's just slow to warm up to people. D told me not to worry about it too much and not to read too much into it... i'm trying to take that to heart.
we may go to a concert on tuesday... we may go to one of the parks to take some pictures on thursday....
her eyes are so bright and curious, searching... i wish i really knew what other people saw when they looked at me - i've never found the mirror too impressive... what does she see? what did my beautiful co-worker see? what did.... you get the point.
the date started and ended w/ a set of hugs. i guess they served as bookends for the day.
07 May 2009
updates - post 12
i think i'm going to try to keep this fairly short - only 2 real points of interest at this time.
i spoke w/ the young lady i met the other night. extended an invite for her to call me this evening if she wanted to do anything after my MT... figured it would be a good chance to see each other w/out waiting all the way until sunday. and as for sunday - we're going to go see the star trek movie, walk through the short north (arts district) and have lunch @ betty's (which i've never tried). i'm really looking forward to this!!! she seems like she's going to be a lot of fun to hang out with and talk to - i hope i can meet up to her expectations so we can give this a solid try.
backtracking to yesterday - i saw my classmate (in class). she sat next to me as usual and kind of awkwardly proceeded: "ummm i have to ask you something" so i indicated for her to go ahead. she went on "is there, ugh, anyway i can pay you for the ticket to the footy match, since you wouldn't take money for parking and didn't want any food while we were there?" i said sure, but i didn't know what the face value of the ticket was - and since i bought it at the stadium, there were no additional fees. she said $18 and whipped out a little stack of bills (apparently pre-separated for the occasion) and handed them over. part of me thinks it's kinda cool that she stepped up and did that. the other part is still... meh... whatever...
i spoke w/ the young lady i met the other night. extended an invite for her to call me this evening if she wanted to do anything after my MT... figured it would be a good chance to see each other w/out waiting all the way until sunday. and as for sunday - we're going to go see the star trek movie, walk through the short north (arts district) and have lunch @ betty's (which i've never tried). i'm really looking forward to this!!! she seems like she's going to be a lot of fun to hang out with and talk to - i hope i can meet up to her expectations so we can give this a solid try.
backtracking to yesterday - i saw my classmate (in class). she sat next to me as usual and kind of awkwardly proceeded: "ummm i have to ask you something" so i indicated for her to go ahead. she went on "is there, ugh, anyway i can pay you for the ticket to the footy match, since you wouldn't take money for parking and didn't want any food while we were there?" i said sure, but i didn't know what the face value of the ticket was - and since i bought it at the stadium, there were no additional fees. she said $18 and whipped out a little stack of bills (apparently pre-separated for the occasion) and handed them over. part of me thinks it's kinda cool that she stepped up and did that. the other part is still... meh... whatever...
06 May 2009
got another date - post 11
well - tonight i went out w/ a buddy who invited me to watch the cav's (nba) game at a bar/restaurant near campus w/ him. he invited a few friends, including a cute young lass, who shares my interest in photography. we got to talking... i have no idea what happened in the cav's game. and sadly - ignored the other 3 peeps w/ me (w/ shame i admit - i also ignored my good friend, who invited me - and who i was there to see).
i feel a little bad about that part.
but - i'm sure he understands... and if not, i'll be seeing a comment indicating such below this post :-) sorry man!!!
sooo - i had a really good time talking to this young woman and she seems like someone who i would enjoy spending time with and getting to know. we talked about the usuals - what are you doing in school, tastes in music, movies, etc... a preview for the new star trek came on and i said i'd like to see it. we talked for a while longer. she kept holding my gaze. we were smiling @ each other. i motioned for her to come closer - and when she did, i figured it was as clear a sign i could ask for w/ out being on a bulletin board, so i told her my weekend's pretty free and asked if she would like to go see the movie w/ me sunday and have lunch.
she agreed. wrote her number on a sweet & low packet for me ;-) and i said something stupid like "is that b/c you're imitation sweet?" she laughed a little laugh and my good friend rode me for it being one of the lamest "pick-up lines" he's ever heard.
we talked a bit more, then i decided it would be a good idea to ask if she was seeing anyone... i learned that lesson as a result of dating (so i thought) my classmate. fortunately the response was a negative delivered w/ a smile. soooo yeah.... i told her i'd call thursday and we'll solidify some plans for sunday!
looking forward to it - she seems like a really cool girl and i'm looking forward to hanging out w/ her!
i feel a little bad about that part.
but - i'm sure he understands... and if not, i'll be seeing a comment indicating such below this post :-) sorry man!!!
sooo - i had a really good time talking to this young woman and she seems like someone who i would enjoy spending time with and getting to know. we talked about the usuals - what are you doing in school, tastes in music, movies, etc... a preview for the new star trek came on and i said i'd like to see it. we talked for a while longer. she kept holding my gaze. we were smiling @ each other. i motioned for her to come closer - and when she did, i figured it was as clear a sign i could ask for w/ out being on a bulletin board, so i told her my weekend's pretty free and asked if she would like to go see the movie w/ me sunday and have lunch.
she agreed. wrote her number on a sweet & low packet for me ;-) and i said something stupid like "is that b/c you're imitation sweet?" she laughed a little laugh and my good friend rode me for it being one of the lamest "pick-up lines" he's ever heard.
we talked a bit more, then i decided it would be a good idea to ask if she was seeing anyone... i learned that lesson as a result of dating (so i thought) my classmate. fortunately the response was a negative delivered w/ a smile. soooo yeah.... i told her i'd call thursday and we'll solidify some plans for sunday!
looking forward to it - she seems like a really cool girl and i'm looking forward to hanging out w/ her!
30 April 2009
another try? - post 10
sooo - things haven't been spectacular lately. i'm not too sure where to go now, so i decided to retrace a few steps. i asked my coworker (girl #2 from post 1) if i could interest her in going to a movie with me sunday.... if i'm lucky enough for her to agree - i'm going to have to try to feel her out b/c she IS who i want to be with right now (i can hear the groans of judgement from my friendss now!)
i saw her for just a few minutes today - and god... she is still the most beautiful woman i've ever met. i miss talking to her and making out with her - best...kisses...ever...
*sigh*
follow-ups or reports on other chix as events warrant ;-)
i saw her for just a few minutes today - and god... she is still the most beautiful woman i've ever met. i miss talking to her and making out with her - best...kisses...ever...
*sigh*
follow-ups or reports on other chix as events warrant ;-)
28 April 2009
FML - post 9
apparently, b/c i am a 29y/o grad-student, don't care how much $ i make, am interested in enjoying life as much as possible, spending time w/ friends, and making time for hobbies and believe that since everyone who knows me will be dead w/in 2 generations i, like most people, will not be remembered beyond that - my life is sad and pathetic... (wait for it) according to a 22y/o waitress. FML
i'll try to set this up as best i can. as is custom on monday nights - i go to an irish pub w/ friends following our weekly meeting. tonight, there was one lone girl sitting at the bar. lots of tattoos, dark black hair, kinda cute(ish) in the gothy way that i like. we're sitting around and i tell my buddies jokingly: "my night's not complete until i get shot down.... be back...."so i walk over, pull out the seat next to her and say "mind if i join and keep you company until your friends arrive?" she smiled, said sure and that she didn't have any friends coming - just her. so we started to chat. it was way more forced and awkward than any other one of these i've tried to pull off in the past few months.
she obviously was drinking, couldn't believe that i didn't like seafood or beer, and started berating me as sad and pathetic (as desrcibed above)
rewinding - after i sit and we're talking, she asks me if i'm getting her next drink - i said sure... after she gets the drink and we're chatting, she informs me she's "dating that guy right there" who i assume was one of the bar employees. it went straight downhill from there....
she started talking about how she's into suspensions (hooks through the skin and hanging from things) and the downward spiral continued.
finally - i whipped out the "well, i've been out of town the past few weeks and AM here with my friends, so i'm going to spend some time with them...."
FML.... my self-esteem certainly took a bit of a hit tonight...
25 April 2009
confirmation - post 8
FML...
so - i said i wasn't sure that my classmate was really into the whole "us dating" thing. today, i got my confirmation. picking up from last post (post 7) we were going to a footy match tonight (i'm currently writing this post match) and so we traded a few emails during the day, and in one i said:
to which in an e-mail reply this afternoon i find this line (along with something about already having plans, so just going to come to the match):
sooo.... yup. here we are. at least, now i know.
lesson: work on being more up front @ the start - i like you, we should go out and date, if that's cool - great. if not - let me know and we can both save some time and money....
FML
ps - i should probably add that the match actually went well. we chatted and there wasn't the ridiculous awkwardness i was expecting. shame it's not going to work - may not have had long term potential, but it would have been fun :-/
so - i said i wasn't sure that my classmate was really into the whole "us dating" thing. today, i got my confirmation. picking up from last post (post 7) we were going to a footy match tonight (i'm currently writing this post match) and so we traded a few emails during the day, and in one i said:
"do you have an early day sunday? if not, perhaps we can do something after the match - just the two of us... movie? couple of drinks? quick bite to eat? laying in a field staring at the stars? i'm open to most suggestions...."
to which in an e-mail reply this afternoon i find this line (along with something about already having plans, so just going to come to the match):
"I am kind of seeing somebody right now - nothing official - but I don't want to compromise that."
sooo.... yup. here we are. at least, now i know.
lesson: work on being more up front @ the start - i like you, we should go out and date, if that's cool - great. if not - let me know and we can both save some time and money....
FML
ps - i should probably add that the match actually went well. we chatted and there wasn't the ridiculous awkwardness i was expecting. shame it's not going to work - may not have had long term potential, but it would have been fun :-/
boredom - post 7
it's been nearly 2 weeks. my schedule's been pretty chaotic, and not looking to let up anytime too soon.
this past tuesday, i had a date planned w/ my friend - but unfortunately, something came up and she had to cxl monday. nothing i'll get into here, but it was valid, and if i were her, in the same situation, i would cxl to support a friend as well.
so, we're going to a footy (soccer) game saturday. hopefully, it will go well & w/ a bit of luck, i can con(vince) her that we should do something afterwards - just the two of us.... movie, quick bite to eat, couple of drinks, laying on our backs in a field staring @ the stars. i really don't care what we do - i'd just like to spend some time w/ her whilst we both have an opening in our schedules.
otherwise - i haven't even chatted up any random chix. 1-there haven't been many & 2-i just don't feel into it right now.... :-( idk wtf is wrong w/ me. if i'm going to do the 12 in 12 thing - i am off my pace. but the only chix i've been coming across lately are way too young college chix...and i'm just not interested in that.
i'll figure something out soon. i hope...
i wouldn't mind seeing things go well w/ my classmate friend and am pretty sure we could both have a lot of fun dating each other - but i'm still not entirely sure how in to it she is....
this past tuesday, i had a date planned w/ my friend - but unfortunately, something came up and she had to cxl monday. nothing i'll get into here, but it was valid, and if i were her, in the same situation, i would cxl to support a friend as well.
so, we're going to a footy (soccer) game saturday. hopefully, it will go well & w/ a bit of luck, i can con(vince) her that we should do something afterwards - just the two of us.... movie, quick bite to eat, couple of drinks, laying on our backs in a field staring @ the stars. i really don't care what we do - i'd just like to spend some time w/ her whilst we both have an opening in our schedules.
otherwise - i haven't even chatted up any random chix. 1-there haven't been many & 2-i just don't feel into it right now.... :-( idk wtf is wrong w/ me. if i'm going to do the 12 in 12 thing - i am off my pace. but the only chix i've been coming across lately are way too young college chix...and i'm just not interested in that.
i'll figure something out soon. i hope...
i wouldn't mind seeing things go well w/ my classmate friend and am pretty sure we could both have a lot of fun dating each other - but i'm still not entirely sure how in to it she is....
13 April 2009
random follow-up - post 6
so - i have been chatting w/ my classmate over the weekend (via email) and she informed me that her schedule will be opening up a little bit after next weekend. after consulting w/ 2 friends - i take this a good sign since she had said in the past that she has no time for much of anything until the end of the quarter (early june).
she also informed me that she would like to take me somewhere i've not been before (restaurant-wise) and is looking forward to us going out again :-)
i'm really liking the way this is starting to look!
she looked amazing when we went out. nice plunging neck line... low rise jeans (and, yes, she has a body that they work on!!!) and she told me she's a distance runner (like i used to be - but to a much higher level) and is trying to qualify for boston. NICE!!! i told her if she wanted to slow her pace by a good 4-5 minutes per mile we could go for a run together ;-)
i'm feeling pretty confident - but i felt the same way w/ my little 20 year old. i am very apprehensive and hope and want this to go well. she is an amazing young woman...
she also informed me that she would like to take me somewhere i've not been before (restaurant-wise) and is looking forward to us going out again :-)
i'm really liking the way this is starting to look!
she looked amazing when we went out. nice plunging neck line... low rise jeans (and, yes, she has a body that they work on!!!) and she told me she's a distance runner (like i used to be - but to a much higher level) and is trying to qualify for boston. NICE!!! i told her if she wanted to slow her pace by a good 4-5 minutes per mile we could go for a run together ;-)
i'm feeling pretty confident - but i felt the same way w/ my little 20 year old. i am very apprehensive and hope and want this to go well. she is an amazing young woman...
09 April 2009
more bus chatting - post 5
so, this little cutie hops on my bus, but unfortunately sits a ways back... far enoug that it wouldn't have been easy to chat her up. so i drive on to the final stop of my loop, open the doors and she just sits there. i asked what stop she needed, to which she replied that "i'm just exploring and seeing where it goes". i smiled and said "you got on the wrong bus, eh?". we started chatting and it went well. sadly, i noticed that she had a ring on her left ring finger :-( it's a shame - she had a rocking little body on her.... she told me her name, but unfortunately, i can't spell it. something like karra, carra, (it sounds like car-ugh). she was a nice girl, okay to chat with, and pretty attractive. ah well - another opportunity missed, perhaps....
LESSON: i think this one ended up getting dominated by me as the conversation wore on. i needed to keep giving her more opportunities to speak. also - closing... again. it didn't matter that she had a ring - it may have meant nothing, and the worst case - i get more practice at asking a chick for her number.
LESSON: i think this one ended up getting dominated by me as the conversation wore on. i needed to keep giving her more opportunities to speak. also - closing... again. it didn't matter that she had a ring - it may have meant nothing, and the worst case - i get more practice at asking a chick for her number.
07 April 2009
date recap - post 4
tonight i went out with my classmate. i knew the place we were going to fairly well - so i was confident the food would be excellent; which it was. as expected, i had a very pleasant conversation with her and we spent some time getting to know each other a little better. unfortunately - the conversation on my end steered towards things done w/ my ex.... the sad part of spending more than the past 12 years w/ someone - they were part of all of your life until very recently, and the past couple of months haven't been all that interesting....
ah well... we chatted, we ate, we sat around talking some more, we parted company w/out setting anything solid :-(
i enjoyed myself & i'm pretty sure she enjoyed it as well. she asked a lot of questions, answered all of mine - and was a very good conversationalist. which as those who know me know - is the key that i am looking for in a partner... someone i can talk to. i think i would enjoy her and i dating and think we could have a lot of fun together, but i'm not too sure how she sees it. she really didn't give any clear indication as far as "great! we'll do something again soon".
she did spend a part of the conversation discussing her views on the american dating model... being from germany, our "protocol and rules" of what is expected @ each date is confusing and (echoing my own sentiment) pretty stupid. so, at least i know that the few things i know about dating - mean dick all of anything w/ her. i guess that could work in my advantage, eh?
follow-ups to come as i know more!
ah well... we chatted, we ate, we sat around talking some more, we parted company w/out setting anything solid :-(
i enjoyed myself & i'm pretty sure she enjoyed it as well. she asked a lot of questions, answered all of mine - and was a very good conversationalist. which as those who know me know - is the key that i am looking for in a partner... someone i can talk to. i think i would enjoy her and i dating and think we could have a lot of fun together, but i'm not too sure how she sees it. she really didn't give any clear indication as far as "great! we'll do something again soon".
she did spend a part of the conversation discussing her views on the american dating model... being from germany, our "protocol and rules" of what is expected @ each date is confusing and (echoing my own sentiment) pretty stupid. so, at least i know that the few things i know about dating - mean dick all of anything w/ her. i guess that could work in my advantage, eh?
follow-ups to come as i know more!
06 April 2009
got a date! - post 3
well - my classmate agreed to the idea of a dinner date after class on tuesday! i'm really excited and apprehensive about this.... we're going to a place i've been to a few times in a nice, artsy neighborhood. so if the weather's nice, we can go for a little walk and chat afterwards. will post how the date went as soon as i am able!
05 April 2009
the importance of chatting - post 2
alright.... the key to trying to start a relationship - setting your eye on someone and chatting with them.
you can't expect some hot chick to just walk up and ask you out... you need to be bold. make a move. act confident. start a random conversation. (read debra fine's "the fine art of small talk" for some good tips on how to start a conversation and keep it going).
examples:
1 - bus girl (friday). i was driving my route and one woman gets on my bus. it was a friday so i asked if she was done for the week or if she worked on a rotation and had to work over the weekend. she told me about her 3 day work week schedule, the department she worked in and her hour long commute. using this information i told her about my favourite former schedules, asked if she was familiar w/ XYZ roads/routes. and proceeded to chat with her for the ~15 minute ride until she got off at her stop.
this was a "practice" conversation. not really interested in picking her up - but just wanted to practice chatting, finding openings for conversation starters / continuers, and seeing how i would do at keeping pauses to a minimum and keeping things rolling.
2 - lindsey (saturday). i was driving break shifts for other drivers... well, the way the routes are spaced out, i have a bit of time between the breaks. so i finish driving for the first driver, and while waitng, i see a young lady sitting at the bus stop across the street.... i figured, 'meh, she's kinda cute, why not?'
i walked across the street and took a seat a few feet away from her on the long concrete bench. and began....
me: "at least columbus weather is getting a little less ADD, and we have a nice day for a change"
lindsey: "it's not too bad out"
me: glancing down and noticing a bag from the university book store "taking some time out of your weekend to get your books?"
l: "yeah"
m: "it's rough... one of mine cost $190.... does your major have pretty expensive books"
l: "wow - that's a lot! i don't feel bad spending what i did now... our books aren't too bad"
so i then started asking about her major, what made her pick it, career aspirations, year in school, undergrad / grad, and so on... i had an enjoyable conversation with her until her bus arrived and she had to leave.
LESSON: work on 'closing' early on - getting a phone number exchange, you never know when the person will have to leave... especially at a bus stop or random location where people are there very transiently
3 - cute waitress (i guess it was actually sunday early morning, but i was out as part of my saturday night). i met 5 friends at a local bar after work. 2 left early leaving 4 of us there. we sat around, talked, and drank a bit. decided we wanted to migrate and walk down high st. for the ending of the gallery hop. ended up at a coffee bar / lounge. waitress came up took our orders and i started to chat with her. she came back with drinks and somehow we ended up talking about food and good places to eat. she came back to check on us and the following exchange took place:
me: "so, you said that place is called the banana leaf?"
cw: "yeah - it's really good, you should try it"
me: "what kind of hours do they keep? my schedule is pretty crazy"
cw: "i'm not real sure, but they have this great buffet after noon."
me: "hmmm - that could work, since all my classes are later in the day. tell you what... you and i should go. i've never been and you could point out what is really good and things i would like"
cw: "i have a boyfriend...."
me: (not missing a beat) "so what? that doesn't mean we can't go as friends..."
cw: "hmmm.... i don't know.... maybe?"
me: "well - i'll leave you my number... if you want to, give me a call... if not, that's fine too"
cw: "okay"
at this point she leaves and my 3 friends are all looking at me like, wow... did you just do that? she comes back with the check and i hand her my credit card w/ a napkin w/ my name/number on it. she looks at it kind of surprised and puts it in her pocket. E's jaw was on the floor, mouth open i shock, Q looked at me and said "i wish i had balls like that!", P just tipped his drink my way and nodded.
i don't know how i became this guy... this is shit i never thought i would have the stones for. but, we'll see how things go. my life is complete chaos, and i have no idea how anything is going to turn out. at this point - "i'm just here for the ride...."
you can't expect some hot chick to just walk up and ask you out... you need to be bold. make a move. act confident. start a random conversation. (read debra fine's "the fine art of small talk" for some good tips on how to start a conversation and keep it going).
examples:
1 - bus girl (friday). i was driving my route and one woman gets on my bus. it was a friday so i asked if she was done for the week or if she worked on a rotation and had to work over the weekend. she told me about her 3 day work week schedule, the department she worked in and her hour long commute. using this information i told her about my favourite former schedules, asked if she was familiar w/ XYZ roads/routes. and proceeded to chat with her for the ~15 minute ride until she got off at her stop.
this was a "practice" conversation. not really interested in picking her up - but just wanted to practice chatting, finding openings for conversation starters / continuers, and seeing how i would do at keeping pauses to a minimum and keeping things rolling.
2 - lindsey (saturday). i was driving break shifts for other drivers... well, the way the routes are spaced out, i have a bit of time between the breaks. so i finish driving for the first driver, and while waitng, i see a young lady sitting at the bus stop across the street.... i figured, 'meh, she's kinda cute, why not?'
i walked across the street and took a seat a few feet away from her on the long concrete bench. and began....
me: "at least columbus weather is getting a little less ADD, and we have a nice day for a change"
lindsey: "it's not too bad out"
me: glancing down and noticing a bag from the university book store "taking some time out of your weekend to get your books?"
l: "yeah"
m: "it's rough... one of mine cost $190.... does your major have pretty expensive books"
l: "wow - that's a lot! i don't feel bad spending what i did now... our books aren't too bad"
so i then started asking about her major, what made her pick it, career aspirations, year in school, undergrad / grad, and so on... i had an enjoyable conversation with her until her bus arrived and she had to leave.
LESSON: work on 'closing' early on - getting a phone number exchange, you never know when the person will have to leave... especially at a bus stop or random location where people are there very transiently
3 - cute waitress (i guess it was actually sunday early morning, but i was out as part of my saturday night). i met 5 friends at a local bar after work. 2 left early leaving 4 of us there. we sat around, talked, and drank a bit. decided we wanted to migrate and walk down high st. for the ending of the gallery hop. ended up at a coffee bar / lounge. waitress came up took our orders and i started to chat with her. she came back with drinks and somehow we ended up talking about food and good places to eat. she came back to check on us and the following exchange took place:
me: "so, you said that place is called the banana leaf?"
cw: "yeah - it's really good, you should try it"
me: "what kind of hours do they keep? my schedule is pretty crazy"
cw: "i'm not real sure, but they have this great buffet after noon."
me: "hmmm - that could work, since all my classes are later in the day. tell you what... you and i should go. i've never been and you could point out what is really good and things i would like"
cw: "i have a boyfriend...."
me: (not missing a beat) "so what? that doesn't mean we can't go as friends..."
cw: "hmmm.... i don't know.... maybe?"
me: "well - i'll leave you my number... if you want to, give me a call... if not, that's fine too"
cw: "okay"
at this point she leaves and my 3 friends are all looking at me like, wow... did you just do that? she comes back with the check and i hand her my credit card w/ a napkin w/ my name/number on it. she looks at it kind of surprised and puts it in her pocket. E's jaw was on the floor, mouth open i shock, Q looked at me and said "i wish i had balls like that!", P just tipped his drink my way and nodded.
i don't know how i became this guy... this is shit i never thought i would have the stones for. but, we'll see how things go. my life is complete chaos, and i have no idea how anything is going to turn out. at this point - "i'm just here for the ride...."
intro - post 1
i'm victor (pen name, anyhow) and will be chronicling my bat-shit crazy attempts to date and living life....
about me: i'm 29, a grad student in one of the largest universities in the nation (u.s) and just ended a 12.5 year relationship with a wonderful young medical professional that i originally met one summer back in high-school. as one might imagine - i never dated... until now. i have no experience w/ women at all, other than her.
i think i know people... i was a psych major in undergrad. i'm at a point of "no fear" in my life right now. i don't care about getting shot down or looking like an idiot - if i do, odds are, i will never see anyone around again. so i've got that going for me. plus - i'm getting pretty good at feigning self-confidence.
currently - i'm tossing around the idea of trying to date at least 12 women in the 12 months of 2009.... off to a decent start, too. i don't know that this will be a hard and fast rule - but if things work out w/ someone, great.... if not.... i have a goal to meet!
1 - my ex. we dated until early/mid february. all i will say about that. :-(
2 - my inappropriately young friend. 20y/o undergrad i knew from around. started seeing her way too soon after breaking up w/ the ex... the first week or two was great and a lot of fun - but she got pretty flakey on me towards the end. kept canceling plans last minute and things like that. i saw it coming... first she was too young and second, we were both dealing with a lot of shit in our lives. i freaked her out a bit. it was a good learning experience for me. it's a shame too... she is arguably the hottest girl i will ever date - and a brilliant conversationalist, who i truly loved talking to. :-(
3 - my classmate (working on this one). 6'1". nice girl. more age appropriate. world-class athlete. fun to hang out with. but can drink me (and almost everyone i know) under the table. we hung out w/ a group after class once. drank a little too much. as the night wore on, we kept getting closer and closer to each other and were pretty much hanging off of each other. walked her back to her car (arm around her - gotta make sure neither of us fell, you know!) and suggested we go out for a real date / dinner some time... she liked the idea. we'll see how it goes :-)
about me: i'm 29, a grad student in one of the largest universities in the nation (u.s) and just ended a 12.5 year relationship with a wonderful young medical professional that i originally met one summer back in high-school. as one might imagine - i never dated... until now. i have no experience w/ women at all, other than her.
i think i know people... i was a psych major in undergrad. i'm at a point of "no fear" in my life right now. i don't care about getting shot down or looking like an idiot - if i do, odds are, i will never see anyone around again. so i've got that going for me. plus - i'm getting pretty good at feigning self-confidence.
currently - i'm tossing around the idea of trying to date at least 12 women in the 12 months of 2009.... off to a decent start, too. i don't know that this will be a hard and fast rule - but if things work out w/ someone, great.... if not.... i have a goal to meet!
1 - my ex. we dated until early/mid february. all i will say about that. :-(
2 - my inappropriately young friend. 20y/o undergrad i knew from around. started seeing her way too soon after breaking up w/ the ex... the first week or two was great and a lot of fun - but she got pretty flakey on me towards the end. kept canceling plans last minute and things like that. i saw it coming... first she was too young and second, we were both dealing with a lot of shit in our lives. i freaked her out a bit. it was a good learning experience for me. it's a shame too... she is arguably the hottest girl i will ever date - and a brilliant conversationalist, who i truly loved talking to. :-(
3 - my classmate (working on this one). 6'1". nice girl. more age appropriate. world-class athlete. fun to hang out with. but can drink me (and almost everyone i know) under the table. we hung out w/ a group after class once. drank a little too much. as the night wore on, we kept getting closer and closer to each other and were pretty much hanging off of each other. walked her back to her car (arm around her - gotta make sure neither of us fell, you know!) and suggested we go out for a real date / dinner some time... she liked the idea. we'll see how it goes :-)
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