sooo - things haven't been spectacular lately. i'm not too sure where to go now, so i decided to retrace a few steps. i asked my coworker (girl #2 from post 1) if i could interest her in going to a movie with me sunday.... if i'm lucky enough for her to agree - i'm going to have to try to feel her out b/c she IS who i want to be with right now (i can hear the groans of judgement from my friendss now!)
i saw her for just a few minutes today - and god... she is still the most beautiful woman i've ever met. i miss talking to her and making out with her - best...kisses...ever...
*sigh*
follow-ups or reports on other chix as events warrant ;-)
30 April 2009
28 April 2009
FML - post 9
apparently, b/c i am a 29y/o grad-student, don't care how much $ i make, am interested in enjoying life as much as possible, spending time w/ friends, and making time for hobbies and believe that since everyone who knows me will be dead w/in 2 generations i, like most people, will not be remembered beyond that - my life is sad and pathetic... (wait for it) according to a 22y/o waitress. FML
i'll try to set this up as best i can. as is custom on monday nights - i go to an irish pub w/ friends following our weekly meeting. tonight, there was one lone girl sitting at the bar. lots of tattoos, dark black hair, kinda cute(ish) in the gothy way that i like. we're sitting around and i tell my buddies jokingly: "my night's not complete until i get shot down.... be back...."so i walk over, pull out the seat next to her and say "mind if i join and keep you company until your friends arrive?" she smiled, said sure and that she didn't have any friends coming - just her. so we started to chat. it was way more forced and awkward than any other one of these i've tried to pull off in the past few months.
she obviously was drinking, couldn't believe that i didn't like seafood or beer, and started berating me as sad and pathetic (as desrcibed above)
rewinding - after i sit and we're talking, she asks me if i'm getting her next drink - i said sure... after she gets the drink and we're chatting, she informs me she's "dating that guy right there" who i assume was one of the bar employees. it went straight downhill from there....
she started talking about how she's into suspensions (hooks through the skin and hanging from things) and the downward spiral continued.
finally - i whipped out the "well, i've been out of town the past few weeks and AM here with my friends, so i'm going to spend some time with them...."
FML.... my self-esteem certainly took a bit of a hit tonight...
25 April 2009
confirmation - post 8
FML...
so - i said i wasn't sure that my classmate was really into the whole "us dating" thing. today, i got my confirmation. picking up from last post (post 7) we were going to a footy match tonight (i'm currently writing this post match) and so we traded a few emails during the day, and in one i said:
to which in an e-mail reply this afternoon i find this line (along with something about already having plans, so just going to come to the match):
sooo.... yup. here we are. at least, now i know.
lesson: work on being more up front @ the start - i like you, we should go out and date, if that's cool - great. if not - let me know and we can both save some time and money....
FML
ps - i should probably add that the match actually went well. we chatted and there wasn't the ridiculous awkwardness i was expecting. shame it's not going to work - may not have had long term potential, but it would have been fun :-/
so - i said i wasn't sure that my classmate was really into the whole "us dating" thing. today, i got my confirmation. picking up from last post (post 7) we were going to a footy match tonight (i'm currently writing this post match) and so we traded a few emails during the day, and in one i said:
"do you have an early day sunday? if not, perhaps we can do something after the match - just the two of us... movie? couple of drinks? quick bite to eat? laying in a field staring at the stars? i'm open to most suggestions...."
to which in an e-mail reply this afternoon i find this line (along with something about already having plans, so just going to come to the match):
"I am kind of seeing somebody right now - nothing official - but I don't want to compromise that."
sooo.... yup. here we are. at least, now i know.
lesson: work on being more up front @ the start - i like you, we should go out and date, if that's cool - great. if not - let me know and we can both save some time and money....
FML
ps - i should probably add that the match actually went well. we chatted and there wasn't the ridiculous awkwardness i was expecting. shame it's not going to work - may not have had long term potential, but it would have been fun :-/
boredom - post 7
it's been nearly 2 weeks. my schedule's been pretty chaotic, and not looking to let up anytime too soon.
this past tuesday, i had a date planned w/ my friend - but unfortunately, something came up and she had to cxl monday. nothing i'll get into here, but it was valid, and if i were her, in the same situation, i would cxl to support a friend as well.
so, we're going to a footy (soccer) game saturday. hopefully, it will go well & w/ a bit of luck, i can con(vince) her that we should do something afterwards - just the two of us.... movie, quick bite to eat, couple of drinks, laying on our backs in a field staring @ the stars. i really don't care what we do - i'd just like to spend some time w/ her whilst we both have an opening in our schedules.
otherwise - i haven't even chatted up any random chix. 1-there haven't been many & 2-i just don't feel into it right now.... :-( idk wtf is wrong w/ me. if i'm going to do the 12 in 12 thing - i am off my pace. but the only chix i've been coming across lately are way too young college chix...and i'm just not interested in that.
i'll figure something out soon. i hope...
i wouldn't mind seeing things go well w/ my classmate friend and am pretty sure we could both have a lot of fun dating each other - but i'm still not entirely sure how in to it she is....
this past tuesday, i had a date planned w/ my friend - but unfortunately, something came up and she had to cxl monday. nothing i'll get into here, but it was valid, and if i were her, in the same situation, i would cxl to support a friend as well.
so, we're going to a footy (soccer) game saturday. hopefully, it will go well & w/ a bit of luck, i can con(vince) her that we should do something afterwards - just the two of us.... movie, quick bite to eat, couple of drinks, laying on our backs in a field staring @ the stars. i really don't care what we do - i'd just like to spend some time w/ her whilst we both have an opening in our schedules.
otherwise - i haven't even chatted up any random chix. 1-there haven't been many & 2-i just don't feel into it right now.... :-( idk wtf is wrong w/ me. if i'm going to do the 12 in 12 thing - i am off my pace. but the only chix i've been coming across lately are way too young college chix...and i'm just not interested in that.
i'll figure something out soon. i hope...
i wouldn't mind seeing things go well w/ my classmate friend and am pretty sure we could both have a lot of fun dating each other - but i'm still not entirely sure how in to it she is....
13 April 2009
random follow-up - post 6
so - i have been chatting w/ my classmate over the weekend (via email) and she informed me that her schedule will be opening up a little bit after next weekend. after consulting w/ 2 friends - i take this a good sign since she had said in the past that she has no time for much of anything until the end of the quarter (early june).
she also informed me that she would like to take me somewhere i've not been before (restaurant-wise) and is looking forward to us going out again :-)
i'm really liking the way this is starting to look!
she looked amazing when we went out. nice plunging neck line... low rise jeans (and, yes, she has a body that they work on!!!) and she told me she's a distance runner (like i used to be - but to a much higher level) and is trying to qualify for boston. NICE!!! i told her if she wanted to slow her pace by a good 4-5 minutes per mile we could go for a run together ;-)
i'm feeling pretty confident - but i felt the same way w/ my little 20 year old. i am very apprehensive and hope and want this to go well. she is an amazing young woman...
she also informed me that she would like to take me somewhere i've not been before (restaurant-wise) and is looking forward to us going out again :-)
i'm really liking the way this is starting to look!
she looked amazing when we went out. nice plunging neck line... low rise jeans (and, yes, she has a body that they work on!!!) and she told me she's a distance runner (like i used to be - but to a much higher level) and is trying to qualify for boston. NICE!!! i told her if she wanted to slow her pace by a good 4-5 minutes per mile we could go for a run together ;-)
i'm feeling pretty confident - but i felt the same way w/ my little 20 year old. i am very apprehensive and hope and want this to go well. she is an amazing young woman...
09 April 2009
more bus chatting - post 5
so, this little cutie hops on my bus, but unfortunately sits a ways back... far enoug that it wouldn't have been easy to chat her up. so i drive on to the final stop of my loop, open the doors and she just sits there. i asked what stop she needed, to which she replied that "i'm just exploring and seeing where it goes". i smiled and said "you got on the wrong bus, eh?". we started chatting and it went well. sadly, i noticed that she had a ring on her left ring finger :-( it's a shame - she had a rocking little body on her.... she told me her name, but unfortunately, i can't spell it. something like karra, carra, (it sounds like car-ugh). she was a nice girl, okay to chat with, and pretty attractive. ah well - another opportunity missed, perhaps....
LESSON: i think this one ended up getting dominated by me as the conversation wore on. i needed to keep giving her more opportunities to speak. also - closing... again. it didn't matter that she had a ring - it may have meant nothing, and the worst case - i get more practice at asking a chick for her number.
LESSON: i think this one ended up getting dominated by me as the conversation wore on. i needed to keep giving her more opportunities to speak. also - closing... again. it didn't matter that she had a ring - it may have meant nothing, and the worst case - i get more practice at asking a chick for her number.
07 April 2009
date recap - post 4
tonight i went out with my classmate. i knew the place we were going to fairly well - so i was confident the food would be excellent; which it was. as expected, i had a very pleasant conversation with her and we spent some time getting to know each other a little better. unfortunately - the conversation on my end steered towards things done w/ my ex.... the sad part of spending more than the past 12 years w/ someone - they were part of all of your life until very recently, and the past couple of months haven't been all that interesting....
ah well... we chatted, we ate, we sat around talking some more, we parted company w/out setting anything solid :-(
i enjoyed myself & i'm pretty sure she enjoyed it as well. she asked a lot of questions, answered all of mine - and was a very good conversationalist. which as those who know me know - is the key that i am looking for in a partner... someone i can talk to. i think i would enjoy her and i dating and think we could have a lot of fun together, but i'm not too sure how she sees it. she really didn't give any clear indication as far as "great! we'll do something again soon".
she did spend a part of the conversation discussing her views on the american dating model... being from germany, our "protocol and rules" of what is expected @ each date is confusing and (echoing my own sentiment) pretty stupid. so, at least i know that the few things i know about dating - mean dick all of anything w/ her. i guess that could work in my advantage, eh?
follow-ups to come as i know more!
ah well... we chatted, we ate, we sat around talking some more, we parted company w/out setting anything solid :-(
i enjoyed myself & i'm pretty sure she enjoyed it as well. she asked a lot of questions, answered all of mine - and was a very good conversationalist. which as those who know me know - is the key that i am looking for in a partner... someone i can talk to. i think i would enjoy her and i dating and think we could have a lot of fun together, but i'm not too sure how she sees it. she really didn't give any clear indication as far as "great! we'll do something again soon".
she did spend a part of the conversation discussing her views on the american dating model... being from germany, our "protocol and rules" of what is expected @ each date is confusing and (echoing my own sentiment) pretty stupid. so, at least i know that the few things i know about dating - mean dick all of anything w/ her. i guess that could work in my advantage, eh?
follow-ups to come as i know more!
06 April 2009
got a date! - post 3
well - my classmate agreed to the idea of a dinner date after class on tuesday! i'm really excited and apprehensive about this.... we're going to a place i've been to a few times in a nice, artsy neighborhood. so if the weather's nice, we can go for a little walk and chat afterwards. will post how the date went as soon as i am able!
05 April 2009
the importance of chatting - post 2
alright.... the key to trying to start a relationship - setting your eye on someone and chatting with them.
you can't expect some hot chick to just walk up and ask you out... you need to be bold. make a move. act confident. start a random conversation. (read debra fine's "the fine art of small talk" for some good tips on how to start a conversation and keep it going).
examples:
1 - bus girl (friday). i was driving my route and one woman gets on my bus. it was a friday so i asked if she was done for the week or if she worked on a rotation and had to work over the weekend. she told me about her 3 day work week schedule, the department she worked in and her hour long commute. using this information i told her about my favourite former schedules, asked if she was familiar w/ XYZ roads/routes. and proceeded to chat with her for the ~15 minute ride until she got off at her stop.
this was a "practice" conversation. not really interested in picking her up - but just wanted to practice chatting, finding openings for conversation starters / continuers, and seeing how i would do at keeping pauses to a minimum and keeping things rolling.
2 - lindsey (saturday). i was driving break shifts for other drivers... well, the way the routes are spaced out, i have a bit of time between the breaks. so i finish driving for the first driver, and while waitng, i see a young lady sitting at the bus stop across the street.... i figured, 'meh, she's kinda cute, why not?'
i walked across the street and took a seat a few feet away from her on the long concrete bench. and began....
me: "at least columbus weather is getting a little less ADD, and we have a nice day for a change"
lindsey: "it's not too bad out"
me: glancing down and noticing a bag from the university book store "taking some time out of your weekend to get your books?"
l: "yeah"
m: "it's rough... one of mine cost $190.... does your major have pretty expensive books"
l: "wow - that's a lot! i don't feel bad spending what i did now... our books aren't too bad"
so i then started asking about her major, what made her pick it, career aspirations, year in school, undergrad / grad, and so on... i had an enjoyable conversation with her until her bus arrived and she had to leave.
LESSON: work on 'closing' early on - getting a phone number exchange, you never know when the person will have to leave... especially at a bus stop or random location where people are there very transiently
3 - cute waitress (i guess it was actually sunday early morning, but i was out as part of my saturday night). i met 5 friends at a local bar after work. 2 left early leaving 4 of us there. we sat around, talked, and drank a bit. decided we wanted to migrate and walk down high st. for the ending of the gallery hop. ended up at a coffee bar / lounge. waitress came up took our orders and i started to chat with her. she came back with drinks and somehow we ended up talking about food and good places to eat. she came back to check on us and the following exchange took place:
me: "so, you said that place is called the banana leaf?"
cw: "yeah - it's really good, you should try it"
me: "what kind of hours do they keep? my schedule is pretty crazy"
cw: "i'm not real sure, but they have this great buffet after noon."
me: "hmmm - that could work, since all my classes are later in the day. tell you what... you and i should go. i've never been and you could point out what is really good and things i would like"
cw: "i have a boyfriend...."
me: (not missing a beat) "so what? that doesn't mean we can't go as friends..."
cw: "hmmm.... i don't know.... maybe?"
me: "well - i'll leave you my number... if you want to, give me a call... if not, that's fine too"
cw: "okay"
at this point she leaves and my 3 friends are all looking at me like, wow... did you just do that? she comes back with the check and i hand her my credit card w/ a napkin w/ my name/number on it. she looks at it kind of surprised and puts it in her pocket. E's jaw was on the floor, mouth open i shock, Q looked at me and said "i wish i had balls like that!", P just tipped his drink my way and nodded.
i don't know how i became this guy... this is shit i never thought i would have the stones for. but, we'll see how things go. my life is complete chaos, and i have no idea how anything is going to turn out. at this point - "i'm just here for the ride...."
you can't expect some hot chick to just walk up and ask you out... you need to be bold. make a move. act confident. start a random conversation. (read debra fine's "the fine art of small talk" for some good tips on how to start a conversation and keep it going).
examples:
1 - bus girl (friday). i was driving my route and one woman gets on my bus. it was a friday so i asked if she was done for the week or if she worked on a rotation and had to work over the weekend. she told me about her 3 day work week schedule, the department she worked in and her hour long commute. using this information i told her about my favourite former schedules, asked if she was familiar w/ XYZ roads/routes. and proceeded to chat with her for the ~15 minute ride until she got off at her stop.
this was a "practice" conversation. not really interested in picking her up - but just wanted to practice chatting, finding openings for conversation starters / continuers, and seeing how i would do at keeping pauses to a minimum and keeping things rolling.
2 - lindsey (saturday). i was driving break shifts for other drivers... well, the way the routes are spaced out, i have a bit of time between the breaks. so i finish driving for the first driver, and while waitng, i see a young lady sitting at the bus stop across the street.... i figured, 'meh, she's kinda cute, why not?'
i walked across the street and took a seat a few feet away from her on the long concrete bench. and began....
me: "at least columbus weather is getting a little less ADD, and we have a nice day for a change"
lindsey: "it's not too bad out"
me: glancing down and noticing a bag from the university book store "taking some time out of your weekend to get your books?"
l: "yeah"
m: "it's rough... one of mine cost $190.... does your major have pretty expensive books"
l: "wow - that's a lot! i don't feel bad spending what i did now... our books aren't too bad"
so i then started asking about her major, what made her pick it, career aspirations, year in school, undergrad / grad, and so on... i had an enjoyable conversation with her until her bus arrived and she had to leave.
LESSON: work on 'closing' early on - getting a phone number exchange, you never know when the person will have to leave... especially at a bus stop or random location where people are there very transiently
3 - cute waitress (i guess it was actually sunday early morning, but i was out as part of my saturday night). i met 5 friends at a local bar after work. 2 left early leaving 4 of us there. we sat around, talked, and drank a bit. decided we wanted to migrate and walk down high st. for the ending of the gallery hop. ended up at a coffee bar / lounge. waitress came up took our orders and i started to chat with her. she came back with drinks and somehow we ended up talking about food and good places to eat. she came back to check on us and the following exchange took place:
me: "so, you said that place is called the banana leaf?"
cw: "yeah - it's really good, you should try it"
me: "what kind of hours do they keep? my schedule is pretty crazy"
cw: "i'm not real sure, but they have this great buffet after noon."
me: "hmmm - that could work, since all my classes are later in the day. tell you what... you and i should go. i've never been and you could point out what is really good and things i would like"
cw: "i have a boyfriend...."
me: (not missing a beat) "so what? that doesn't mean we can't go as friends..."
cw: "hmmm.... i don't know.... maybe?"
me: "well - i'll leave you my number... if you want to, give me a call... if not, that's fine too"
cw: "okay"
at this point she leaves and my 3 friends are all looking at me like, wow... did you just do that? she comes back with the check and i hand her my credit card w/ a napkin w/ my name/number on it. she looks at it kind of surprised and puts it in her pocket. E's jaw was on the floor, mouth open i shock, Q looked at me and said "i wish i had balls like that!", P just tipped his drink my way and nodded.
i don't know how i became this guy... this is shit i never thought i would have the stones for. but, we'll see how things go. my life is complete chaos, and i have no idea how anything is going to turn out. at this point - "i'm just here for the ride...."
intro - post 1
i'm victor (pen name, anyhow) and will be chronicling my bat-shit crazy attempts to date and living life....
about me: i'm 29, a grad student in one of the largest universities in the nation (u.s) and just ended a 12.5 year relationship with a wonderful young medical professional that i originally met one summer back in high-school. as one might imagine - i never dated... until now. i have no experience w/ women at all, other than her.
i think i know people... i was a psych major in undergrad. i'm at a point of "no fear" in my life right now. i don't care about getting shot down or looking like an idiot - if i do, odds are, i will never see anyone around again. so i've got that going for me. plus - i'm getting pretty good at feigning self-confidence.
currently - i'm tossing around the idea of trying to date at least 12 women in the 12 months of 2009.... off to a decent start, too. i don't know that this will be a hard and fast rule - but if things work out w/ someone, great.... if not.... i have a goal to meet!
1 - my ex. we dated until early/mid february. all i will say about that. :-(
2 - my inappropriately young friend. 20y/o undergrad i knew from around. started seeing her way too soon after breaking up w/ the ex... the first week or two was great and a lot of fun - but she got pretty flakey on me towards the end. kept canceling plans last minute and things like that. i saw it coming... first she was too young and second, we were both dealing with a lot of shit in our lives. i freaked her out a bit. it was a good learning experience for me. it's a shame too... she is arguably the hottest girl i will ever date - and a brilliant conversationalist, who i truly loved talking to. :-(
3 - my classmate (working on this one). 6'1". nice girl. more age appropriate. world-class athlete. fun to hang out with. but can drink me (and almost everyone i know) under the table. we hung out w/ a group after class once. drank a little too much. as the night wore on, we kept getting closer and closer to each other and were pretty much hanging off of each other. walked her back to her car (arm around her - gotta make sure neither of us fell, you know!) and suggested we go out for a real date / dinner some time... she liked the idea. we'll see how it goes :-)
about me: i'm 29, a grad student in one of the largest universities in the nation (u.s) and just ended a 12.5 year relationship with a wonderful young medical professional that i originally met one summer back in high-school. as one might imagine - i never dated... until now. i have no experience w/ women at all, other than her.
i think i know people... i was a psych major in undergrad. i'm at a point of "no fear" in my life right now. i don't care about getting shot down or looking like an idiot - if i do, odds are, i will never see anyone around again. so i've got that going for me. plus - i'm getting pretty good at feigning self-confidence.
currently - i'm tossing around the idea of trying to date at least 12 women in the 12 months of 2009.... off to a decent start, too. i don't know that this will be a hard and fast rule - but if things work out w/ someone, great.... if not.... i have a goal to meet!
1 - my ex. we dated until early/mid february. all i will say about that. :-(
2 - my inappropriately young friend. 20y/o undergrad i knew from around. started seeing her way too soon after breaking up w/ the ex... the first week or two was great and a lot of fun - but she got pretty flakey on me towards the end. kept canceling plans last minute and things like that. i saw it coming... first she was too young and second, we were both dealing with a lot of shit in our lives. i freaked her out a bit. it was a good learning experience for me. it's a shame too... she is arguably the hottest girl i will ever date - and a brilliant conversationalist, who i truly loved talking to. :-(
3 - my classmate (working on this one). 6'1". nice girl. more age appropriate. world-class athlete. fun to hang out with. but can drink me (and almost everyone i know) under the table. we hung out w/ a group after class once. drank a little too much. as the night wore on, we kept getting closer and closer to each other and were pretty much hanging off of each other. walked her back to her car (arm around her - gotta make sure neither of us fell, you know!) and suggested we go out for a real date / dinner some time... she liked the idea. we'll see how it goes :-)
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