randoms - post 16

i'm freaking the fuck out... at this point, i have no idea if i'll still be in grad school next year. my gpa isn't doing as well as it needs to be & i'm having a really hard time caring about my classes this quarter. i've tried, but i can't do it :-(

ever since the break-up (w/ #1), i've been trying to get my shit together and get back on stuff. i thought it was getting better, then the break up w/ #2 rolled around. that's when i started drinking more and trying to go out everynight that i'm not working until 0130 or later. i didn't really care too much whether or not things worked out w/ #3, i knew she wasn't LT potential - but thought we could've had some fun together. as for #4.... i'm not counting on hearing from her for a follow up date.

the other realization i had today (while talking w/ #2) is that i've lost my ability to read people. it used to be almost 2nd nature to me... but now - i feel lost, w/ out a map, and clearly lacking a clue....

as for options for summer (should i not be in school anymore) i'm looking to get an OTR driving job, home everynight though, so that could work. and the pay would be solid as well - at least in comparison to the weak ass pay i've made these past 5 years.

i'm also more and more seriously considering my prior thoughts of freelance writing / photography... idk if anything will come of it - but i'm going to try to make some moves to move it closer to being a reality. sooo - that may mean there'll be more posts (some, like this one, fairly unrelated to dating) just for the writing experience. i will label those "randoms - post ##).

now, it looks like i'll be working on finding #5 by the end of the month - i have tix to the season finale of CSO and would like to go w/ a pretty lass dressed up nice and cute like... i'm not making horrible progress on my 12 in 12 goal :-/