the job i've been working in has been becoming more and more irregular and my pay has been shriveling. without delving into too much detail, i've barely made 40hrs in the past 2wks, the hours are more erratic than ever and i can just barely cover my bills. so, i've been picking up shifts at the place i worked as a student (hired on as a 50%FTE @ $5.50 /hr higher than i made back then) - when working this past week and bullshitting with my supervisor, he told me that they're hurting for workers & need help. i took it as a good sign for me & requested a set schedule for the remainder of the year - a 4 day / 36hr set schedule... it's still not quite enough to pay the bills, but allows me the opportunity to work part time as well somewhere else and know what i'm doing every day & can plan a budget knowing exactly how many hours i'll get from week to week.
when i graduated, i swore i was done w/ that place - but my principles and scruples have been sold... we all have a mortgage to pay, nay?
on to women.
my beautiful little goddess, athena. her birthday approaches, and as i do every year - i'll call and wish her another year of happiness, and that her coming year greets her with naught but success, good fortune & the requisite happiness she deserves. and that call will be ignored. and i'll continue to miss my love.
back to the old job means i see #2 from post 1 needless to say, i'm full of mixed feelings about seeing her. she's an interesting & intelligent young woman, enjoyable to converse with. i miss hanging out w/ her and talking to her. she's beautiful. her eyes are so cold yet filled with emotion, her facial features are so stunning... beautiful cheekbones, soft lips, a pleasing jawline, silken hair. at times, i feel like i hate her - others, i'm enamored with her. i have no clue what i should do about her. i've been told that she's not worth it, 'fuck her', ignore her, don't waste your time, etc. sage advice, but let's face it - i can't obey my own rules, much less follow advice that has me writing off a woman i care for.
as i said in post 36, i've been spending some time with #1 lately. spent the weekend w/ her in Indy 2wks ago - it was a fairly enjoyable break from the usual. but alas, while i enjoy seeing her, i feel as though something is missing, i feel incomplete without my athena in my life. likewise with #2, i can't bring myself to just write her out of my life. i don't love her... not like i do athena & #1, but i don't want to lose yet another enjoyable conversationalist that i care for.
i don't know where i'm heading with this...
No comments:
Post a Comment