i think i'm becoming spiteful in my old age. all i've been able to think about today has been how baller it would be to be at that bar this thursday & see that cute little frizzy haired girl and pick her up while snowflake is there and leave w/ frizzy right in front of her while she's getting all pissed off about it.
i want to hate that little fucking whore but i can't, so i guess that rubbing her face in something like this would be the best and most satisfying thing i could do. i'd love to please a beautiful young girl while snowflake is alone crying in the bar and left to go home and fingerfuck herself or get fucked by one of her meaningless one night stands because she's incapable of having a mature, adult relationship...
am i evil? yes i am. am i evil? i am man, yes i am!
30 March 2011
27 March 2011
my type - post 46
i've been thinking about my "type" and as best i can tell, i don't have one. but if i did, "available" would not be on their list of traits...
it seems like every girl i'm interested in is either in a relationship or "unavailable" - emotionally or otherwise. i can't seem to get away from it... while at work the other day, i saw this really cute girl & i kept seeing her all day. occasionally, i'd stop and bullshit w/ her for a minute. she seemed nice. beautiful as well. gorgeous little face, soft looking lips, silken dark brown hair. an amazingly spectacular ass, perfectly curved - i would've loved to feel it under my hands while holding her chest to chest.
so, i stopped next to her and said something like "hey, i've seen you more than anyone else this weekend, and.. i feel like a dick b/c i've never even introduced myself" we traded names & i suggested that she come out to a little event i put on each month. well, that lead to the classic "oh, i have a finaceé"
i guess all the pretty ones are either taken or batshitcrazy.
after my little event, i met a buddy who goes out for karaoke most thursdays (who's been hounding me for a while to join him) and while getting a drink, this cute little curly haired blonde girl starts chatting me up. i talked to her for a minute or two and went back to the table w/ my buddy. after a little while, i tried to introduce him to her (and i'm clearly fuck awful as a wingman). unfortunately, she wasn't having any of that.
in retrospect, i probably should have chatted w/ her a bit longer for myself. but i just kind of assumed she was really young and wasn't really interested - was just passing some time while sitting alone at the bar - (though i was looking damn good, all dolled up in a sexily cut suit).
maybe i'll see her again, i can buy her a drink to apologize for trying to set her up w/ my buddy when she wasn't into it, then properly introduce myself and maybe take a shot in the dark. she's at least a college girl. she may even be interested in me going down on her. i've been craving some sweet pussy for a while now and really just want to enjoy the taste on the flat of my tongue and please someone again.
we'll see. perhaps.
it seems like every girl i'm interested in is either in a relationship or "unavailable" - emotionally or otherwise. i can't seem to get away from it... while at work the other day, i saw this really cute girl & i kept seeing her all day. occasionally, i'd stop and bullshit w/ her for a minute. she seemed nice. beautiful as well. gorgeous little face, soft looking lips, silken dark brown hair. an amazingly spectacular ass, perfectly curved - i would've loved to feel it under my hands while holding her chest to chest.
so, i stopped next to her and said something like "hey, i've seen you more than anyone else this weekend, and.. i feel like a dick b/c i've never even introduced myself" we traded names & i suggested that she come out to a little event i put on each month. well, that lead to the classic "oh, i have a finaceé"
i guess all the pretty ones are either taken or batshitcrazy.
after my little event, i met a buddy who goes out for karaoke most thursdays (who's been hounding me for a while to join him) and while getting a drink, this cute little curly haired blonde girl starts chatting me up. i talked to her for a minute or two and went back to the table w/ my buddy. after a little while, i tried to introduce him to her (and i'm clearly fuck awful as a wingman). unfortunately, she wasn't having any of that.
in retrospect, i probably should have chatted w/ her a bit longer for myself. but i just kind of assumed she was really young and wasn't really interested - was just passing some time while sitting alone at the bar - (though i was looking damn good, all dolled up in a sexily cut suit).
maybe i'll see her again, i can buy her a drink to apologize for trying to set her up w/ my buddy when she wasn't into it, then properly introduce myself and maybe take a shot in the dark. she's at least a college girl. she may even be interested in me going down on her. i've been craving some sweet pussy for a while now and really just want to enjoy the taste on the flat of my tongue and please someone again.
we'll see. perhaps.
12 March 2011
why i feel how i feel about what i feel - post 45
today, i found myself thinking and realized that for nearly a month now my efforts to drive snowflake from my mind have been blown clear to fucking shit. shortly before 18 Feb 2011, i found myself feeling all nostalgic for her (we went on our 1st date 18 Feb 2009). i talked to her (willingly) for the 1st time in nearly 2mos & i haven't been able to stop. we started hugging each other again. the other night while on a break at work, we were sitting close to each other and i kind of absently started rubbing her back and leg. i was trying to psych myself up to ask her on a date, but then recalled plans i had around the event i was going to invite her to.
and with this backdrop, let's delve right to the heart of the matter: i don't understand how i develop the feelings i have towards people. i understand the theoretical psycho-biological processes that are taking place, but i can't understand how i can't come to grips and figure out why i feel the way i do about some of the people i do.
i love athena. other than #1, she's the only woman i've ever loved. snowflake? i have this uncontrollable attraction to her & desire to be with her - i miss her soft, sweet, little kisses so fucking much. only athena's were better.... #1? my feelings are all over the place when it comes to her.
there's a couple of others that i'm not even going to touch on. but, more to the point - why do i love athena? we've not spoken in years, yet i'd still never say "no" to her. snowflake drives me fucking insane, but when i see her, i just want to hold her (and i have not a damn clue why). #1 wants nothing more than for us to be 'happily ever after' but i'm too on the fence about it. i like seeing her sometimes, but always seem to be actively pushing her away, despite the fact that i'm not actively thinking that's what i should / want to do.
there's a part of me that just kind of accepts the way that i feel about certain people without wanting to understand or question those feelings. i don't know why i feel how i do or what it is that makes me feel that way - i've just accepted it.... i can't provide reasons or explanations, so don't ask me to --- they don't ever seem to make sense to anyone outside of my head (and even in there, shit's questionable).
and with this backdrop, let's delve right to the heart of the matter: i don't understand how i develop the feelings i have towards people. i understand the theoretical psycho-biological processes that are taking place, but i can't understand how i can't come to grips and figure out why i feel the way i do about some of the people i do.
i love athena. other than #1, she's the only woman i've ever loved. snowflake? i have this uncontrollable attraction to her & desire to be with her - i miss her soft, sweet, little kisses so fucking much. only athena's were better.... #1? my feelings are all over the place when it comes to her.
there's a couple of others that i'm not even going to touch on. but, more to the point - why do i love athena? we've not spoken in years, yet i'd still never say "no" to her. snowflake drives me fucking insane, but when i see her, i just want to hold her (and i have not a damn clue why). #1 wants nothing more than for us to be 'happily ever after' but i'm too on the fence about it. i like seeing her sometimes, but always seem to be actively pushing her away, despite the fact that i'm not actively thinking that's what i should / want to do.
there's a part of me that just kind of accepts the way that i feel about certain people without wanting to understand or question those feelings. i don't know why i feel how i do or what it is that makes me feel that way - i've just accepted it.... i can't provide reasons or explanations, so don't ask me to --- they don't ever seem to make sense to anyone outside of my head (and even in there, shit's questionable).
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