of course tonight's title is a spoof on deadmau5's "random album title" featuring the hit single I Remember (in conjunction w/ Kaskade).
i'm not fully sure where to start, i went out w/ the phd student again tonight. we had dessert, went to dinner then decided to go see a movie. (girl w/ the dragon tattoo is a bad date movie - at least for early on, kind of buzz killinton-esque)
i'm not sure what i'm feeling for this one. we didn't end up in bed. but, in looking at the 4 chix i've "dated" this year - 2nd date has either been "there's nothing & done" or we end up in bed together (as i said in the preceding post).
we haven't even kissed... that strikes me as a bad sign, especially given, well... by the time we wake up the morning after the 2nd date, i prefer to have eaten a healthy bit of beaver.
it looks like we're going to try to get together again before mid-week. we'll see what we see, i suppose - but there's going to need to be something physical so i have something to work with.
31 December 2011
29 December 2011
too tired to creatively come up with a fucking title - post 62
so, a^4 hasn't spoken to me or replied to any attempts to contact her since our weird little hookup last friday. i may be prevented from trying to fight for this (as i vowed to do in post 60).
now what? i've felt slightly less guilty about chatting with the ph.d. pursuing young lass. we traded a few msgs on xmas day, nothing too serious, just a bit of banter and again today (weds). i suggested we get together when she gets into town, a week long trip visiting family back home often evokes a strong desire for alcohol in me, anyhow. she replied that her flight won't be landing until 2300, so she'll get a hold of me during the day and we'll plan something out for friday, since saturday's NYE and we both have plans.
most of my friends that i've been keeping in the loop with respect to the women i'm pursuing have bluntly stated that they're pulling for this one. she's well read, a talented writer (based on a limited sample including her online dating profile) and is pretty interesting.
she seems to be a nice young woman (27. i'm moving closer to the right direction) and i'm looking forward to hanging out with her again and seeing if there's anything there btwn us. i guess if we do something friday, it'll be our 2nd date... maybe i should try to make sure we don't end up in bed together (princess and a^4 both ended up in bed together messing around - but not having sex) since that seems to be some sort of kiss of death in my last two attempts at "relationships". or maybe it's that both of those two are insanely emotionally unavailable? it's probably one of those two things and nothing more.
nevermore!
^ just a transition.
i have a few job leads and a couple of my peeps calling in some favors. seriously hoping that something's going to pop really soon. if nothing else, i just need somewhere to go during the day and i REALLY do not want to end up driving truck OTR yet again....
now what? i've felt slightly less guilty about chatting with the ph.d. pursuing young lass. we traded a few msgs on xmas day, nothing too serious, just a bit of banter and again today (weds). i suggested we get together when she gets into town, a week long trip visiting family back home often evokes a strong desire for alcohol in me, anyhow. she replied that her flight won't be landing until 2300, so she'll get a hold of me during the day and we'll plan something out for friday, since saturday's NYE and we both have plans.
most of my friends that i've been keeping in the loop with respect to the women i'm pursuing have bluntly stated that they're pulling for this one. she's well read, a talented writer (based on a limited sample including her online dating profile) and is pretty interesting.
she seems to be a nice young woman (27. i'm moving closer to the right direction) and i'm looking forward to hanging out with her again and seeing if there's anything there btwn us. i guess if we do something friday, it'll be our 2nd date... maybe i should try to make sure we don't end up in bed together (princess and a^4 both ended up in bed together messing around - but not having sex) since that seems to be some sort of kiss of death in my last two attempts at "relationships". or maybe it's that both of those two are insanely emotionally unavailable? it's probably one of those two things and nothing more.
nevermore!
^ just a transition.
i have a few job leads and a couple of my peeps calling in some favors. seriously hoping that something's going to pop really soon. if nothing else, i just need somewhere to go during the day and i REALLY do not want to end up driving truck OTR yet again....
25 December 2011
fuck fuck fuck not again, fuckity fuck - post 61
*sigh*
i've been thinking and replaying thursday night (super early friday morning) in my mind over again, b/c something has been... well. okay...
so, sunday night, we were at the restaurant and i started realizing that a few of her facial features, some of the things she says and some mannerisms struck me as reminiscent of snowflake. and that was mildly unsettling.
so, friday morning, we're flipping through some playlists to find something to listen to and she laid down on the bed, eyes closed, singing, dancing around... i moved her to somewhere more comfortable and she kind of "growl/meowed". that weird little verbal tick (which was repeated a few times that night) and the way she looked, smiling, singing, laying there... she's yet another athena. yet again, i'm subconsciously drawn to my goddess, wherever i can find her - even if i don't initially see it & it takes me a while to realize it.
it's not the only reason i'm drawn to her. it's not even in the top 10. but it certainly is an unsettling, disconcerting realization.
i've been thinking and replaying thursday night (super early friday morning) in my mind over again, b/c something has been... well. okay...
so, sunday night, we were at the restaurant and i started realizing that a few of her facial features, some of the things she says and some mannerisms struck me as reminiscent of snowflake. and that was mildly unsettling.
so, friday morning, we're flipping through some playlists to find something to listen to and she laid down on the bed, eyes closed, singing, dancing around... i moved her to somewhere more comfortable and she kind of "growl/meowed". that weird little verbal tick (which was repeated a few times that night) and the way she looked, smiling, singing, laying there... she's yet another athena. yet again, i'm subconsciously drawn to my goddess, wherever i can find her - even if i don't initially see it & it takes me a while to realize it.
it's not the only reason i'm drawn to her. it's not even in the top 10. but it certainly is an unsettling, disconcerting realization.
23 December 2011
awkward, adorbs & amazing! - post 60
i shit-canned the initial intertube dating site i was using, having met with incredibly shitty luck. and that brought me to a new site. a site where girls reply to your awkward emails. thanks, cool chick carol!
starting things off, i was having an okay start to a conversation w/ this chick - getting my legs back, so to speak - until she asks "i see you don't want kids. any reason for that? you ever been married?" in her 2nd reply. way to go for the jugular, sweetie.
next up, was this cute little artsy munchkin. we went on a date for tea and it, well... it went. she wasn't really into it, i suppose. i tried to follow up w/ her, just to be sure ~ but before my self-esteem could actually take a hit: SUDDENLY, an awkward, adorbs & amazing artsy girl shows up and starts chatting with me. and a ph.d. student. and this total hipster chick.
A^4 and i went on a date last saturday (17 dec 11). low key dive for a couple of drinks. out for dinner afterwards. during dinner, we made plans to get together on tuesday to do something after agreeing that we were both having one of our best 1st dates, quite possibly, ever. made out for a while when i dropped her off at her car. she messaged me the next day (sunday) and i told her i had plans through most of the day, but if she wanted to get together at 10p, we could have a late dinner. we did that and stayed there chatting until they threw us out when they closed at 2a. i walked her to her car and we kept chatting, kissed a little, then agreed to head over to her place...
i'm really into this chick. she's so much fun and we both totally dig each other. however, as with virtually every other chick i've been with, she's emotionally unavailable as a result of her past. she called me at 0130 this morning and i went over thinking that we were just going to have an epic time. granted, we messed around a little bit - but we spent more time having a pretty serious buzz-killington worthy conversation about how she doesn't know how to have a "normal" relationship and she keeps everyone at arm's length.
...that she knows she's just going to hurt me and can't give me the kind of relationship i'm looking for.
for the 2nd time this week, we fell asleep cuddled close and tightly against each other. the feel of our limbs and bodies laced together is pretty amazing, especially since princess wouldn't cuddle at night (one of her many anti-intimacy defenses).
this time, i cried a little. not b/c of what she said, but b/c what she said means that she probably won't give us a legitimate chance and more than likely, i'll get hurt, yet again.
i finally met the kind of girl that i've been fantasizing about for years: weird, artsy, gamer, nerdy, reader, passionate, intelligent, awkward ~ and now this.
but, i like her and see real potential in her. i'm not going to take this laying down! i've been trying to think of nice things to do for her, help her out, talk to her and keep her engaged in the idea of a potential "us". like i says, i'm not giving this one up without a fight.
starting things off, i was having an okay start to a conversation w/ this chick - getting my legs back, so to speak - until she asks "i see you don't want kids. any reason for that? you ever been married?" in her 2nd reply. way to go for the jugular, sweetie.
next up, was this cute little artsy munchkin. we went on a date for tea and it, well... it went. she wasn't really into it, i suppose. i tried to follow up w/ her, just to be sure ~ but before my self-esteem could actually take a hit: SUDDENLY, an awkward, adorbs & amazing artsy girl shows up and starts chatting with me. and a ph.d. student. and this total hipster chick.
A^4 and i went on a date last saturday (17 dec 11). low key dive for a couple of drinks. out for dinner afterwards. during dinner, we made plans to get together on tuesday to do something after agreeing that we were both having one of our best 1st dates, quite possibly, ever. made out for a while when i dropped her off at her car. she messaged me the next day (sunday) and i told her i had plans through most of the day, but if she wanted to get together at 10p, we could have a late dinner. we did that and stayed there chatting until they threw us out when they closed at 2a. i walked her to her car and we kept chatting, kissed a little, then agreed to head over to her place...
i'm really into this chick. she's so much fun and we both totally dig each other. however, as with virtually every other chick i've been with, she's emotionally unavailable as a result of her past. she called me at 0130 this morning and i went over thinking that we were just going to have an epic time. granted, we messed around a little bit - but we spent more time having a pretty serious buzz-killington worthy conversation about how she doesn't know how to have a "normal" relationship and she keeps everyone at arm's length.
...that she knows she's just going to hurt me and can't give me the kind of relationship i'm looking for.
for the 2nd time this week, we fell asleep cuddled close and tightly against each other. the feel of our limbs and bodies laced together is pretty amazing, especially since princess wouldn't cuddle at night (one of her many anti-intimacy defenses).
this time, i cried a little. not b/c of what she said, but b/c what she said means that she probably won't give us a legitimate chance and more than likely, i'll get hurt, yet again.
i finally met the kind of girl that i've been fantasizing about for years: weird, artsy, gamer, nerdy, reader, passionate, intelligent, awkward ~ and now this.
but, i like her and see real potential in her. i'm not going to take this laying down! i've been trying to think of nice things to do for her, help her out, talk to her and keep her engaged in the idea of a potential "us". like i says, i'm not giving this one up without a fight.
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