completely unsurprising - post 78

in tonight's realm of completely unexpected, the nice, intelligent (lapsed) jewish girl from a nice part of new england doesn't think we're a match.  so, that's a thing...

Hey, Victor*.  This is awkward, but honesty is important.  I had fun hanging out but I don't think we matched.  Best of luck to you.

(* c'mon - you guys know it's a pseudonym)

and here's another thing:  i have a plan to try to figure out why i can't seem to get past the 1st (or miraculously 2nd, on the rare occasion those happen) date.  i've conjured up a little plan that i've emailed to a good friend of mine (with significant dating experience) to help me out:

so... okay, i've been thinking. 

i need to address my major issue in dating.  specifically, i seem to think that things go well, but they (the women) never do.

maybe you can setting me up with one of your cast offs (ideally one that would be similar to someone i would actually go out with, so we'd have shit to talk about / commonalities) - but not a real dating thing (she's in on this too).  so, her and i would trade a few emails (like on the intertubes), meet up do a "date" or two and then she'll report her impressions back to you and you can tell me where i'm fucking up and why girls don't want to see me after the 1st (or occasionally 2nd) date.

having missed on the whole trial error time of the teens / 20s, i'm not really sure how else to address this.

 he promptly replied:

Interesting concept. I'll think about who'd be game for this that would be close to your type and report back. 

we'll see if that works out and / or helps out.... 

no clue - post 77

an intelligent, nice (lapsed) jewish girl from new england.

i think that sums up the post-doc i went out with today.  she's taller than she said.  pretty slightly built.  cute.  fairly laid back.

unfortunately, i don't think that i lived up to her expectations (whatever they may have been).


an option i'm going to need to pursue is probably asking one of my female friends to go out on a "date" with me and providing some feedback on where i'm fucking up.  something's obviously going wrong since i can't seem to move beyond a 2nd date (if i can get one of those) - and i have no clue as to where i'm going wrong.

tart of my heart - post 76

a filthy fucking tart - at present, the one desire in my heart.

i've come to realize that i'm more and more open to the possibility of taking on a fuck-buddy or engaging in some meaningless sex.  messages have been sent to attractive young women seeking intimate encounters, casual sex or that have been overly suggestive while saying that they're looking for "new friends" or "activity partners".  i anticipate following this course to wherever it may lead while continuing to pursue / cultivate potential options for a legitimate relationship.  at least until such a legitimate relationship shall take hold.

related: a post-doc fellow i contacted has followed up with me stating that "we have a lot in common and [she'd] like to get to know [me] better" as with all other women of such high educational attainment that i have pursued - she has severe time constraints that will seriously restrict her free time.

as such, i suppose i should continue my pursuit for legitimate relationships until one such relationship shall take hold.  until then, i'll seek.  until i find, i'll also pursue more playthings.  one of which, i can only hope, will be a filthy fucking tart.  one i can bite.  who will reciprocate in kind - with teeth and nails.  one whose hair i can pull.  who will moan in delight.  one whose taut young neck fits nicely into my hands.  who will find excitement from my fingers wrapped around it.  (damn.  i miss a^4...)

a dream - post 75

in addition to my inability to sleep, i'm now having weird dreams too.

i was driving a charter bus similar to one i drove at a livery company i worked at last year (but the main passenger entrance door was in the wrong place - set too far forward).  i was in an alleyway.  it was nighttime.  i waited (as usual).  passengers began to load.  a small group came and said that the main group told them they could ride with us.  i let them board.  one passenger was princess.  she didn't acknowledge me other than a slight nod of her head towards me.  they sat in the rear.  i resumed waiting.

after a while, a larger group began to mill about outside.  eventually, they began boarding.  through my windshield a woman caught my eye.  looking again, i realized it was my goddess, athena.  she smiled warmly.  as passengers continued filing on, she kept drawing closer.  when she boarded, we smiled briefly and i extended my right hand to her.  she took it.  i held hers tight as she walked away.  finally, she was far enough that the pressure from our grip snapped.  suddenly, i felt a hand on either side of my face holding me and a pair of lips press into the top of my head through my very closely cropped hair.  she vanished after that.

the two generic women seated to my right were talking about writing for a local magazine.  i began to comment that i was discussing an article idea with the editor, but before i could, the group leader directed me to leave.

there was a drive to the destination.  a lot of chatter behind me.  once, i saw princess looking angrily at me in my mirror.  i arrived at a parking garage.  it was one from niagara falls.  i recognized it's location, but i was still supposed to be in the midwest.  i got out to look for the place they were going and left them there.  when i returned they were filtering out through a door (which didn't exist when they were loading).  i pointed them towards where my directions indicated they were going.  i was told that this wasn't the right place.  my directions were inaccurate (that happened a lot).  as the passengers were walking by, i didn't see my princess or my goddess.

i woke up at this point.  it was strange.  vivid.  unusual.

violinist date recap - post 74

i went out w/ the violinist (who's actually a violist) yesterday (thurs 19 jan 2012).  well, it took us over a week and a half to finally get together after suggesting that we go out.  it lasted about an hour.  her advisor told her this morning that she (advisor) wanted to meet with her before classes...  so that put a bit of a damper on today and kept us from going for lunch after visiting the conservatory (which she said she enjoyed).

she said that i should send her the info for a tea-tasting event (but also said that she doesn't drink caffeine) - so, i think she wants to hang out again?  i'm not sure.  this girl's insanely busy as well, and that adds an additional level of complexity to this scenario. 

we'll see where this goes... i'll message her later today and see if she actually does want to get together this weekend.

fucking hell... - post 73

i don't know.  

where am i going to start tonight?

still can't sleep normally.  lonely.  becoming incredibly annoyed w/ girls that i can't figure out if they have any desire to actually date me or not.  and, legit, if i hear one more girl say "you're a really great guy and what i'm looking for - i just can't be in a relationship right now", i may have to choke a bitch (it's a figure of speech, calm the fuck down).

let's start w/ munchkin:  i messaged her today (monday) "would you like to get together for dinner this week? i was thinking hubbard grill or betty's - something along those lines"  about 3hrs later, she replies "sure.  i have a few things still up in the air for this week, can i get back to you w a good day?"  of course my response was "that's fine.  whatever's good for you"  we'll see if i get any kind of reply and what comes of that.  i'm not sure that she's seeing anything as being potentially viable.  if we go out, we'll see what we see.

the violinist:  we're supposed to be getting together on thursday.  *sigh*  this date has been so long in the works that i'm not sure we're holding each others' interest (or she's just really THAT busy).  i don't know which it is...

the writer: introduced in the beginning of post 71 and i have had some more in depth conversations and spent some time chatting online.  as usual, sex came up.  i had to assuage her fears that i'm not going to misconstrue that as meaning that we're going to have sex.  CASUAL SEX!


i've also messaged a few other girls, none of which have followed up with me.  perhaps at some point i'll hear back from one or two of them... maybe even a few more dates.  maybe even a date or two w/ someone that actually wants to date seriously.


i lowered myself to returning back to the original site that i had no success on previously.  in that context, i've only been searching for 19-22y/o women looking for "intimate encounters"...  granted, i'm still completely incapable of separating sex and emotion, but at this point, fuck it.  i just want a plaything to achieve the >120mos younger than me portion of challenge 2012.

kismet - post 72

where to start?

this morning i was supposed to have a date with the violinist.  she never showed up.  after i was on the road leaving, i rec'd a text from a number i didn't recognize asking if i wanted to get a drink tonight.

once i stopped, i read the message, and it turned out to be the adorbs little munchkin from post 70 that i've been chatting with.  we arranged to meet up at cocktails and zomfg, she's so freaking tiny and adorbs!  legit, even with 3" heels, i was still towering over her. i didn't know they made women so tiny and young looking.  :-)


she seems really nice & she suggested that we get together again next week.  i'm totes looking forward to seeing her again.  she wants to move south though.  reading btwn the lines, she's already placing some distance btwn us, indicating that there's probably not going to be the long-term potential that i'm looking for.

while i was waiting for her, my phone pinged a message through from the intertubes dating site i'm using.  it was from the violinist.  she was apologetic and said that she thought we were meeting next week.  I guess we'll see if anything comes from that miscue.


munchkin's so tiny and pixiesque!  i have no idea how i keep lucking into picking up such gorgeous young women.  yes, sir.  i like it!

apprehensive - post 71

tuesday, i started an online conversation with a young woman (roughly 3ish yrs younger than me) that, odds are, things would not work out with.  but, she bears a resemblance to athena. i messaged her, tried to be polite and indicated that i'd like to chat with her about her writing while avoiding anything that could be construed as me trying to pick her up.  she replied and pointed out that i list "do not want children" and she does, so we're not a potential couple.  then she called attention to my comment about not wanting anymore female friends (as i have plenty to begin with).  


so, with that in the open, i admitted that b/c of the distance btwn us and that i wasn't completely interested in her (i used softer language, of course) that i agreed we weren't compatible ~ but i was still interested in chatting with her, if she'd be interested in that as well.  we traded another 1/2doz messages talking about writing, reading, influences, styles, life stories, etc.  maybe i have room for one more friend...


today (thurs) i have a lunch time date with the violinist, my 3rd phd candidate of the past 6mos.  i'm kind of looking forward to it.  seems like she's potentially bright.  may be a combination of "artsy" and "academic".  she's cute.  plus, it's another chance to go to the conservatory during the day.  so, that's a thing.

what else?  i'm still missing the fuck out of a^4.  i tried falling asleep recently, and all i could think about was her and princess (alternating btwn the two).... *sigh*

banner day - post 70

in line with the title, today has been a bit of a banner day.

• this cute little hipster chick messaged me apologizing for how bad she is at replying to my messages on the intertube dating site i'm using, so she gave me her personal email address and said i should message her there
• this adorbs little munchkin w/ a pixie cut messaged me to continue our pretty solid conversation we've been having. i suggested we get together for cocktails thursday night and continue our little chats in person.
• the violinist replied saying that she'd like to hang out, so i suggested something during the week

so, this week could end up being pretty good if these (and previous leads) work out.  if only the job search was yielding leads with this kind of potential... 

maybe a third in 6 - post 69

i'm still chatting with the violinist and suggested we get together...  so, if that works out, she'd be the 3rd ph.d. pursuing chick in the past 6mos. not too shabby.

i ended up inviting both the german and the lithuanian to last night's show (which was fucking epic).  both declined, however - unexpectedly - the lithuanian suggested we get together for lunch.  ¡ :-) ! maybe things w/ her b/f didn't work out and she's on the prowl.  nothing characterizes me quite like my unbridled optimism.

plus, more importantly, if that becomes a thing, she'd be the 4th ph.d. pursuing chick in the past x months.  and the 3rd collegiate athlete (2nd DIII one).  and the *mumble*th tiny little munchkin.  i'm kind of starting to dig my little munchkins.  easier to throw around.  young(ish) too - 23 or 24.  and there's the accent.  

fuck it, even if she still has a b/f, i'd be okay homewrecking the shit out of that.  

if she's single, your competition is the world ~ if she's seeing someone, your competition is one.

challenge 2012 - post 68

following up from yesterday (post 67):

• a^4 ~ still ignoring me
• princess ~ totes not driving down from the north (she put a "sorry" in there, though)
• snowflake ~ still ignoring me
• #1 ~ not interested in seeing me
• chick (my female friend, not the 2nd chick) referenced in last year's NYE post ~ working, or else totally would
• the german ~ didn't message b/c she messaged me about just landing stateside from a little european trip and said we'll get together next week
• the lithuanian ~ didn't message her either - other reasons
• this new girl (i'm going to name her and refer to her as "the violinist" since i have some warm & fuzzies on this one) ~ wants to, but already has plans

and that brings us to challenge 2012:  

1. break 100 posts on this blog
2. i'm still going to try to find a young woman that i'm totally into and want to date - but, i'm also going to start making a concerted effort to break the 120 month younger than me (10yrs) barrier.  at present, ~110mos is my record (princess - 9yrs 1mo 3wks).
• i saw a profile online today from a girl who was 22 and said she's looking for guys 28-40... so i started thinking, when has anything ever gone poorly when i've dated a much younger girl who's kind of crazy and has a thing for older guys?
• i'm probably not going to be in this for the "relationship" part of it, so... it's just funzies
• at this point, i'm starting to venture well outside of my "type" in the women i'm contacting since my confidence in this is starting to improve, so why not enjoy it and take some risks?

feeling rough - post 67

i'm feeling kind of sick today... had a really hard time sleeping last night and now my head feels all fuzzy and eating is a near-impossibility, despite being starving.  clearly a suboptimal situation.

yesterday i found out that the most recent position i was feeling really hopeful on has been filled (their recommendation was sent to HR, anyhow).  so that was kind of buzzkillington worthy.

today i found out i won tickets to the columbus symphony orchestra for tomorrow (friday).  so that's potentially a win.  i've messaged a^4 - who's still ignoring me...  next, i'll try princess (who probably won't be willing to come back to town), snowflake (who will ignore me), maybe the lithuanian (who i'm sure will say no), and maybe the german.  yeah, i'm totally digging deep into my well here.


but, i was planning on going to saturday's performance alone, so going tomorrow alone won't bother me.  if i do go with someone: XX chromosomal makeup, a vagina and a dress are requirements.  heels are optional.

*grumble* - post 66

dear intertubes dating site i'm currently using:

if you send me another "exceptionally good match" who: 

• says that "god" is the most important thing in their life or they can't live without their "faith", "church", "god's love and/or grace" or indicates that they're looking for a "good, god-fearing man whose faith is deeply important to them", etc....
• says they're "smarter than most people" and yet replies that the moon is larger than the sun or that "wherefore" in "romeo, romeo, wherefore art thou romeo" means "where" or "how"
• replies to the question "if you're in a relationship with someone and it's going really well - how long until you have sex" with "only after the wedding"
• indicates that they absolutely love children and can't wait to have them / are looking for a partner to have them with

i'm going to drive down to wherever you are, find the programmer who wrote that matching algorithm and fucking trout-slap them.

love,
the author at vcl 

less than two weeks from zero to two to zero - post 65

since my life serves as comedic relief to those of my more successful friends, it brings me great joy to know how well i fulfill that role!  as one of the least prolific daters in my circle, my continued naïveté in that realm is a reliable source of entertaining stories.


so, this evening at around 2330, i received the following text from the ph.d. pursuing girl:

"I had fun friday too, and I enjoyed our conversations.  I'm afraid, though, that i don't think we're really compatible.  I think it's best to say so now rather than have further dates and possibly be misleading.  I'm sorry if this comes as a surprise, and i wish you the best of luck in the future."

given my preceding posts (she's referenced briefly in 60) 62 & 63 - it's obvious that i was having some mixed feelings about potentially dating this young woman, especially since i'm still really into a^4 (despite her continued absence).


on the bright side, this means i won't have to face the potentiality of ever telling her that an hour or so before our first date i was just wrapping up a little sleepover with another girl and, oh, yeah... we spent the whole morning fooling around as well.  


that's one less totes awkward situation i'll have to face!  (of course, it's also a potentially funny story that will never happen).


i'll be fine, of course.  and, as luck would have it, before my ego has the opportunity to take yet another potential hit:


SUDDENLY, a wild 26y/o appears.....

the end is nigh - post 64

25hrs into 2012.  this is the future & i have to ask - where the fuck are the flying cars? (although, given the way peeps around here drive, it's certainly a good thing that said flying cars are not in existence)

seriously, though... the  future isn't all it's cracked up to be.

2011 was mostly fail.  no true, serious relationships.  no new, meaningful job.  attempts to forge connections were mostly for naught.


sure, some things were kind of okay, but for the most part, yeah... disappointment in the extreme.