where do i start?
potential job w/ a nearby police department: i've set up informational meetings w/ a police chief i used to work with, have talked w/ a city manager i used to work with and the person who previously held this position. hopefully these conversations will help me tweak my resume / cover letter sufficiently to get a real job.
i've also had a lead on another state job come up. and i've applied to be a barista at a coffee shop nearby.
most nights before going to bed, i cry over my master's degree (relevant part is from 1:55-2:10).
what's next?
victoria's secret sent me a catalogue for the first time in years. kind of a subtle "you're never going to reel in a girl that looks like this, you ugly fuck!" (i still have jenna marbles's voice in my head...)
dating:
went on the 3rd date w/ pikachu tonight... yeah, we met at 1900. it was short enough that i had time to meet a friend for dinner, eat, stop to pick up ice cream and still get home by 2200. she's adorable, yeah, but she's not giving me anything at all to work with. i can't figure out, for the life of me, if she has any interest at all. she didn't offer a hug at the beginning of the date (though she paid for our dessert outing). i walked her to her car, she made the sign of the cross as she got in, had a crucifix hanging from her rearview and made the sign again before pulling from the curb, she drove me towards my car, i awkwardly hugged her and left.
i don't think she's interested. plus, she's constantly busy and rarely has time for us to do stuff.
there's this 24y/o bisexual girl who messaged me early this week. she seems very upfront and forward... maybe like a^4? we traded all of 4msgs total before trading phone numbers. we're getting together friday morning. maybe that'll lead to something...
29 February 2012
26 February 2012
a grab bag of randomness - post 87
the following may be painful to read for my more squeamish (a word not to be confused with SQUEEE!!!) readers. randomness! non-linearity! whiskey-tango-foxtrot...watching felicity again. pikachu said it was one of her favorite shows and that she relates a little too closely to felicity porter. so, i suppose that means this is "research"? i still really like amanda foreman(right there -->)'s character. she's pretty!
21 February 2012
pikachu follow up - post 86
it's settled! the woman i went out with thursday night shall be known as "pikachu" (you see, we went to Pecha Kucha together, which sounds like a weird, fucked up pokémon).
where to start? recap on thursday: we met up at the art museum about 15min before the event was supposed to start. however, the first performer was a latin band that played far too loud and a bit too long. we spent about 45min just meandering, occasionally looking at art while trying to find somewhere sufficiently quiet for us to chat.
we meandered about. we chat. it seemed weird and awkward. i didn't know anything about pikachu (as i might through intertube dating) so there was a lot of weird back and forth 'biographical' questions being bounced around and not really a whole lot of quality 'conversation'.
the band finished, so we went back to the main atrium - which was packed and standing room only, as there were few seats - and stayed for the first batch of speakers. for the most part, they were decent and one had a very interesting discussion on 'creativity' and the creative process. parts of which dovetailed nicely with the talk from the night before.
when intermission rolled around, we decided to bolt and go get food. we walked through the crisp, breezy night. the place we were going to go was packed. next door is an italian place. a touch pricy, but whatevs. we nommed.
i walked her back to her car, hugged her goodbye and said i'd be in touch.
friday morning i text her to see if she wanted to go to a hockey game on either saturday or tuesday. saturday was out due to plans. tuesday was out due to a training session weds at work. i figured this was her way of saying she wasn't interested.
monday, she messaged me saying that work chanced the date of the session and she'd like to go to the game tues if i was still available. i agreed and we traded a couple of messages semi-firming things up.
and like that, we have a 2nd date set. a couple of my friends keep telling me to just relax and quit over analyzing shit. calm the fuck down and just enjoy things. but i can't. ambiguity freaks me the fuck out - i need to know exactly what is going on and where i stand with my relationships - real, pseudo or otherwise.
i guess we'll just see what we're gonna see in terms of how things go tuesday night. if it goes well, maybe i'll get to kiss her goodnight :-) and hold her skinny, tiny little body tight to mine :-D
where to start? recap on thursday: we met up at the art museum about 15min before the event was supposed to start. however, the first performer was a latin band that played far too loud and a bit too long. we spent about 45min just meandering, occasionally looking at art while trying to find somewhere sufficiently quiet for us to chat.
we meandered about. we chat. it seemed weird and awkward. i didn't know anything about pikachu (as i might through intertube dating) so there was a lot of weird back and forth 'biographical' questions being bounced around and not really a whole lot of quality 'conversation'.
the band finished, so we went back to the main atrium - which was packed and standing room only, as there were few seats - and stayed for the first batch of speakers. for the most part, they were decent and one had a very interesting discussion on 'creativity' and the creative process. parts of which dovetailed nicely with the talk from the night before.
when intermission rolled around, we decided to bolt and go get food. we walked through the crisp, breezy night. the place we were going to go was packed. next door is an italian place. a touch pricy, but whatevs. we nommed.
i walked her back to her car, hugged her goodbye and said i'd be in touch.
friday morning i text her to see if she wanted to go to a hockey game on either saturday or tuesday. saturday was out due to plans. tuesday was out due to a training session weds at work. i figured this was her way of saying she wasn't interested.
monday, she messaged me saying that work chanced the date of the session and she'd like to go to the game tues if i was still available. i agreed and we traded a couple of messages semi-firming things up.
and like that, we have a 2nd date set. a couple of my friends keep telling me to just relax and quit over analyzing shit. calm the fuck down and just enjoy things. but i can't. ambiguity freaks me the fuck out - i need to know exactly what is going on and where i stand with my relationships - real, pseudo or otherwise.
i guess we'll just see what we're gonna see in terms of how things go tuesday night. if it goes well, maybe i'll get to kiss her goodnight :-) and hold her skinny, tiny little body tight to mine :-D
19 February 2012
selfish bastard - post 85
i know i still need to write something up on thursday's date... i'll get around to it.
in the mean time, i figured i'd go with a touch of humor. some guy posted this to TFLN:
it's the only gentlemanly thing to do.
in the mean time, i figured i'd go with a touch of humor. some guy posted this to TFLN:
(207) It feels kind weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right nowif it was me - i would have thanked the lovely lass in my preferred manner: waking her up in the morning by going down on her and getting her off again. sure, you can send them a text afterwords as well, but... c'mon. the girl had a dick in her mouth for you. the absolute least you can do is dive in to pleasure her and not come up for air until you look like you lost a fight with a glazed doughnut and she's completely exhausted.
it's the only gentlemanly thing to do.
16 February 2012
fun fact - post 84
the last time i went on a date with someone new that i did NOT meet on the internets was back in may of 2009 (all the way back in post 13). tonight, that changes!
last night i was at a small(ish) lecture / discussion sponsored by TEDx and there was this cute girl there. i asked my buddy if she was single. he replied in the affirmative and i whipped out the old metal horns.
a few hours later, he text me "hey do you want to meet ___" (i'm not sure what i'm going to call this one yet). so i was all like "yah, i want da cheezypoofs!" he told me that he'd been talking me up for a while, so i should totes msg her.
i shot her one message this morning "hey, we kind of met last night. i'd like to invite you to Pecha Kucha tonight and get to know you" and with that, she replied yes and now i have a date for tonight (with someone not found through the intertubes).
why, i done reckon we'll just see what we gonna see....
last night i was at a small(ish) lecture / discussion sponsored by TEDx and there was this cute girl there. i asked my buddy if she was single. he replied in the affirmative and i whipped out the old metal horns.
a few hours later, he text me "hey do you want to meet ___" (i'm not sure what i'm going to call this one yet). so i was all like "yah, i want da cheezypoofs!" he told me that he'd been talking me up for a while, so i should totes msg her.
i shot her one message this morning "hey, we kind of met last night. i'd like to invite you to Pecha Kucha tonight and get to know you" and with that, she replied yes and now i have a date for tonight (with someone not found through the intertubes).
why, i done reckon we'll just see what we gonna see....
13 February 2012
this week in fail - post 83
post 82 discussed the fail that was supposed to be my calming escape to the wild.... the week was equally failtastic from there.
generally speaking, the week sucked. i didn't really see anyone or do anything. i bailed on science pub tuesday night since i was still feeling out of it from monday's disastrous trek. weds was open (read: on the couch all day watching netflix). thursday found me unable to find anyone to go to an NHL game.
things get worse friday. i had lunch w/ a friend - that was fine. i arrived home to find a letter from a potential employer i was feeling very confident about. the very brief letter stated that a "very strong field of competitors" and as a result my application "was not selected for further consideration".
i had purchased a ticket for a local band's CD release party, but i was feeling sick and didn't want to go... but i did anyhow. it was alright. the drinks were fairly inexpensive and their 1st set was pretty solid. far too hot in there, so i bolted. well, a buddy of mine (the same one who, thus far, has failed to deliver on the mock-date from post 78) was supposed to show up to introduce me to one of the musicians (i've introduced myself to her in the past, but i thought a 'vouch' would come in handy) - that didn't happen.
next up on friday's fail - i messaged this girl (heretofore unnamed) who has been a pen-pal of mine for a while (and i thought it was established that there was nothing between us) and suggested we get together and go for a hike or lunch as we'd discussed in the recent past. she replied:
saturday was mostly empty - on the couch again. i went to the symphony (solo, as always) and enjoyed Mahler's 6th (here's a clip of the militaristic march that starts the 1st movement and the first statement of the so-called "Alma theme" - from the NY Philharmonic conducted by Leonard Bernstein). cowbells and giant fucking hammers. great performance.
sunday was going just "meh" and then i came across a post from a^4 where she mentions her b/f sending her pictures of chocolates and something else... my reaction to that was:
i tried going to the coffee shop to read and get this shit out of my mind. i just felt sick and couldn't concentrate. staring at the pages, the words danced as my vision refused to focus. no one wanted to go for a drink. i couldn't take it any longer so i went home. wrote a post. did a post for another blog. still nothing. tried taking in some adult content... yeah, that failed too.
generally speaking, the week sucked. i didn't really see anyone or do anything. i bailed on science pub tuesday night since i was still feeling out of it from monday's disastrous trek. weds was open (read: on the couch all day watching netflix). thursday found me unable to find anyone to go to an NHL game.
things get worse friday. i had lunch w/ a friend - that was fine. i arrived home to find a letter from a potential employer i was feeling very confident about. the very brief letter stated that a "very strong field of competitors" and as a result my application "was not selected for further consideration".
i had purchased a ticket for a local band's CD release party, but i was feeling sick and didn't want to go... but i did anyhow. it was alright. the drinks were fairly inexpensive and their 1st set was pretty solid. far too hot in there, so i bolted. well, a buddy of mine (the same one who, thus far, has failed to deliver on the mock-date from post 78) was supposed to show up to introduce me to one of the musicians (i've introduced myself to her in the past, but i thought a 'vouch' would come in handy) - that didn't happen.
next up on friday's fail - i messaged this girl (heretofore unnamed) who has been a pen-pal of mine for a while (and i thought it was established that there was nothing between us) and suggested we get together and go for a hike or lunch as we'd discussed in the recent past. she replied:
well though our meet could be strictly friendship wise.. i have been seeing someone since december.. so i dont know what to think about it.. :-/so, i managed to get rejected by yet another attractive young woman - that i was not pursuing...
saturday was mostly empty - on the couch again. i went to the symphony (solo, as always) and enjoyed Mahler's 6th (here's a clip of the militaristic march that starts the 1st movement and the first statement of the so-called "Alma theme" - from the NY Philharmonic conducted by Leonard Bernstein). cowbells and giant fucking hammers. great performance.
sunday was going just "meh" and then i came across a post from a^4 where she mentions her b/f sending her pictures of chocolates and something else... my reaction to that was:
oh, february... keep the kicks coming. girl who told you barely 2mos ago that you were everything she's been looking for and wants to be with you (but she just can't be in a relationship b/c of her abandonment issues) is now in a relationship.... thanks a^4*(c'mon - you guys have to know by now that they're all pseudonyms)
i tried going to the coffee shop to read and get this shit out of my mind. i just felt sick and couldn't concentrate. staring at the pages, the words danced as my vision refused to focus. no one wanted to go for a drink. i couldn't take it any longer so i went home. wrote a post. did a post for another blog. still nothing. tried taking in some adult content... yeah, that failed too.
12 February 2012
call of the wild fail - post 82
monday i did my whole little head to the woods thing and, well, that didn't go so well. the hiking was alright. it was around 6.1mi to camp and other than a couple of really long & steep sections it went pretty well. the pack / gear was pushing 65# but i was doing pretty well.
as i was sitting in camp working on dinner, i saw the first person of the day.... heading off the trail into the spur for the campsites with a tiny pack and a Colt AR-15 slung across his chest. he said he was a hunter going after coyotes. he headed towards the end of the campsite and i never saw him again.
as the sun was setting i heard some coyotes howling from a valley or two over to the west. i blew it off since they were far away and i didn't hear them again. as i was settling into my sleeping bag around 2030 i suddenly heard 3-4 coyotes calling - very close. then suddenly something swatting at my tent's vestibule where my pack / food was. i yelled out and slapped the flat of my Ka-Bar against my hand to scare it away and i heard a scurrying of leaves and dirt being kicked up.
immediately, i jumped out of the tent w/ the Ka-Bar at the ready and my only light source - my headlamp. scanning around furiously, i didn't see anything. i looked down the ridge line that my tent was set closest to (west) and in scanning, i saw 3 sets of glowing eyes staring right back watching my every move. i yelled at them again and they didn't move. as quick as i could while scanning all around i broke camp and jammed everything into my pack.
fortunately, the backpack trail i was using has access roads to all the camps so that the park staff can get to them to fill the water cisterns and drain the latrines. knowing i'd need room to fight them off and that hiking the narrow trails while only having my headlamp and the moon wasn't the best idea, i decided to hike the fire-road down (knowing that it lead to a shitty lane and a half township dirt road). the going was tough, especially since i was hurting and my knee was tight on the downhills and i had already cooled off for a number of hours and wasn't ready to be hiking again.
the adrenaline was still pumping and i was making tracks as quickly as i could given the circumstances and the fact that i was turning around every 20-25yds to make sure nothing was following me. occasionally, i heard leaves rusting off the road and saw a pair of glowing eyes watching me every now and then.
a few silent prayers to Gaia and Luna to protect and guide me on the hike and nearly and hour of surprisingly tiring hiking later, i arrived back to my car via the township road and the state route leading to the trailhead...
i was drained, but the drive in the dark was pure zen all the way back to the major US highway leading back to the city. constantly shifting, engine in the powerband, gripping the curves as i accelerated hard out of them.
the trip was survived. but, once again, zaleski proved to be my nemesis. that trail is full of personal demons for me. this was not the 1st time that it's crushed my spirit and made me feel worthless.
sore, aching, pain pulsing, and blisters forming - i laid in my bed wondering why that trail and nature were so hurtful towards me. ruined self-esteem, yet again...
as i was sitting in camp working on dinner, i saw the first person of the day.... heading off the trail into the spur for the campsites with a tiny pack and a Colt AR-15 slung across his chest. he said he was a hunter going after coyotes. he headed towards the end of the campsite and i never saw him again.
as the sun was setting i heard some coyotes howling from a valley or two over to the west. i blew it off since they were far away and i didn't hear them again. as i was settling into my sleeping bag around 2030 i suddenly heard 3-4 coyotes calling - very close. then suddenly something swatting at my tent's vestibule where my pack / food was. i yelled out and slapped the flat of my Ka-Bar against my hand to scare it away and i heard a scurrying of leaves and dirt being kicked up.
immediately, i jumped out of the tent w/ the Ka-Bar at the ready and my only light source - my headlamp. scanning around furiously, i didn't see anything. i looked down the ridge line that my tent was set closest to (west) and in scanning, i saw 3 sets of glowing eyes staring right back watching my every move. i yelled at them again and they didn't move. as quick as i could while scanning all around i broke camp and jammed everything into my pack.
fortunately, the backpack trail i was using has access roads to all the camps so that the park staff can get to them to fill the water cisterns and drain the latrines. knowing i'd need room to fight them off and that hiking the narrow trails while only having my headlamp and the moon wasn't the best idea, i decided to hike the fire-road down (knowing that it lead to a shitty lane and a half township dirt road). the going was tough, especially since i was hurting and my knee was tight on the downhills and i had already cooled off for a number of hours and wasn't ready to be hiking again.
the adrenaline was still pumping and i was making tracks as quickly as i could given the circumstances and the fact that i was turning around every 20-25yds to make sure nothing was following me. occasionally, i heard leaves rusting off the road and saw a pair of glowing eyes watching me every now and then.
a few silent prayers to Gaia and Luna to protect and guide me on the hike and nearly and hour of surprisingly tiring hiking later, i arrived back to my car via the township road and the state route leading to the trailhead...
i was drained, but the drive in the dark was pure zen all the way back to the major US highway leading back to the city. constantly shifting, engine in the powerband, gripping the curves as i accelerated hard out of them.
the trip was survived. but, once again, zaleski proved to be my nemesis. that trail is full of personal demons for me. this was not the 1st time that it's crushed my spirit and made me feel worthless.
sore, aching, pain pulsing, and blisters forming - i laid in my bed wondering why that trail and nature were so hurtful towards me. ruined self-esteem, yet again...
10 February 2012
bullshit! - post 81
there's been this photo floating around the intertubes (i found it from some facebook site):
and i'd like to go on record as saying "BULLSHIT!"
this whole thing is based on a faulty logic assumption indicating that (in their eyes) skinny precludes hot.
princess was a size 2. i could slide almost all of her pants off of her w/out unbuttoning them (she should have been wearing 0). she was HOT! however, we all know that i adore athletes. their firm, hard, muscular bodies. she had a spectacularly curved ass, muscularly curved thighs, hard abs...
okay - look... just b/c you're skinny doesn't mean you're unattractive (it also doesn't automatically mean that you're hot). likewise, just b/c you're curvy doesn't mean you're unattractive or that you're automatically hot either.
and i'd like to go on record as saying "BULLSHIT!"
this whole thing is based on a faulty logic assumption indicating that (in their eyes) skinny precludes hot.
princess was a size 2. i could slide almost all of her pants off of her w/out unbuttoning them (she should have been wearing 0). she was HOT! however, we all know that i adore athletes. their firm, hard, muscular bodies. she had a spectacularly curved ass, muscularly curved thighs, hard abs...
okay - look... just b/c you're skinny doesn't mean you're unattractive (it also doesn't automatically mean that you're hot). likewise, just b/c you're curvy doesn't mean you're unattractive or that you're automatically hot either.
06 February 2012
going dark - post 80
well. i'm going to be off the grid for like, a day and a half. communing with nature and shit.
the pack's going to be heavy and the terrain hilly. mileages should be half-way reasonable. as long as the body holds up and the trail's in decent shape - i'll survive. tired and weary, i'll bring my stinking carcass back home and shower a couple days' worth of grit off and upload some photos. it'll be all good, brosephers.
just remember, just b/c i'm not on the intertubes, it doesn't mean that i don't love you guys. i just have some stuff to do in the physical realm. (and need to figure out how to get some fucking skiing in this season... WHY DOESN'T ANYONE HAVE REAL FUCKING SNOW?!?!?)
the pack's going to be heavy and the terrain hilly. mileages should be half-way reasonable. as long as the body holds up and the trail's in decent shape - i'll survive. tired and weary, i'll bring my stinking carcass back home and shower a couple days' worth of grit off and upload some photos. it'll be all good, brosephers.
just remember, just b/c i'm not on the intertubes, it doesn't mean that i don't love you guys. i just have some stuff to do in the physical realm. (and need to figure out how to get some fucking skiing in this season... WHY DOESN'T ANYONE HAVE REAL FUCKING SNOW?!?!?)
04 February 2012
the call of the wild - post 79
i've been reading mountaineering and skiing books for the past month and have been having some serious cabin-fever for the past week. after some failed attempts at recruiting ski-buddies, i've decided that a short overnight backpacking trip is in order. so, about 10mi btwn mon and tues. it's going to be cold(ish) but weather-beta indicates highs in the 40s and nighttime lows just barely south of 30.
i picked up a new canister stove and some sick-ass merrell moab gore-tex waterproof boots last night.
today i went through my backpack and organized shit, gathered gear and worked out a menu plan.
a short hike tmrw in preparation. bolt out the door early monday morning, hike 6.5mi and be in camp by mid-afternoon. read and relax. try to survive the cold night. finish up w/ 3.5mi and on the road back for home.
hopefully, this will sate some the going crazies i've had for a while now.
i picked up a new canister stove and some sick-ass merrell moab gore-tex waterproof boots last night.
today i went through my backpack and organized shit, gathered gear and worked out a menu plan.
a short hike tmrw in preparation. bolt out the door early monday morning, hike 6.5mi and be in camp by mid-afternoon. read and relax. try to survive the cold night. finish up w/ 3.5mi and on the road back for home.
hopefully, this will sate some the going crazies i've had for a while now.
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