generally speaking, the week sucked. i didn't really see anyone or do anything. i bailed on science pub tuesday night since i was still feeling out of it from monday's disastrous trek. weds was open (read: on the couch all day watching netflix). thursday found me unable to find anyone to go to an NHL game.
things get worse friday. i had lunch w/ a friend - that was fine. i arrived home to find a letter from a potential employer i was feeling very confident about. the very brief letter stated that a "very strong field of competitors" and as a result my application "was not selected for further consideration".
i had purchased a ticket for a local band's CD release party, but i was feeling sick and didn't want to go... but i did anyhow. it was alright. the drinks were fairly inexpensive and their 1st set was pretty solid. far too hot in there, so i bolted. well, a buddy of mine (the same one who, thus far, has failed to deliver on the mock-date from post 78) was supposed to show up to introduce me to one of the musicians (i've introduced myself to her in the past, but i thought a 'vouch' would come in handy) - that didn't happen.
next up on friday's fail - i messaged this girl (heretofore unnamed) who has been a pen-pal of mine for a while (and i thought it was established that there was nothing between us) and suggested we get together and go for a hike or lunch as we'd discussed in the recent past. she replied:
well though our meet could be strictly friendship wise.. i have been seeing someone since december.. so i dont know what to think about it.. :-/so, i managed to get rejected by yet another attractive young woman - that i was not pursuing...
saturday was mostly empty - on the couch again. i went to the symphony (solo, as always) and enjoyed Mahler's 6th (here's a clip of the militaristic march that starts the 1st movement and the first statement of the so-called "Alma theme" - from the NY Philharmonic conducted by Leonard Bernstein). cowbells and giant fucking hammers. great performance.
sunday was going just "meh" and then i came across a post from a^4 where she mentions her b/f sending her pictures of chocolates and something else... my reaction to that was:
oh, february... keep the kicks coming. girl who told you barely 2mos ago that you were everything she's been looking for and wants to be with you (but she just can't be in a relationship b/c of her abandonment issues) is now in a relationship.... thanks a^4*(c'mon - you guys have to know by now that they're all pseudonyms)
i tried going to the coffee shop to read and get this shit out of my mind. i just felt sick and couldn't concentrate. staring at the pages, the words danced as my vision refused to focus. no one wanted to go for a drink. i couldn't take it any longer so i went home. wrote a post. did a post for another blog. still nothing. tried taking in some adult content... yeah, that failed too.
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