broken - post 102

at this point, even a "fuck you" would be nice...

i haven't even seen a rejection letter in weeks.  at least with one of those, you get to live in the delusion that someone took the time to at least look at your application / materials and tell you that you're not what they're looking for - it's better than being ignored.

two new women have been messaged on the intertoob dating site.  i don't think i'll hear back from either, despite the one being a 95% match.  not that it matters.  after all, i don't need the rejection from both the job market and the female market.

speaking of rejection: i haven't heard from munchkin since the 12th.  princess ignored my email to see how she's doing.  athena (still) will not answer any of my 'couple times a year' emails (even the most recent one inviting her to a fiona apple concert on her birthday).

my job search has been tabled the past two weeks and, in all likelihood, will remain as such for the coming week as well.  moving is taking a lot out of me, especially since the mercury has barely dipped below 85F.  i'm getting a couple loads per day over to the storage unit.  rid myself of nearly 12 bins of recyclings, 5 loads of garbage and 4 bags of clothing (donated).  

over 600 books have been scanned into a home library maintenance software suite.  those have all been methodically boxed and moved into storage as well.  monday, a buddy is coming over w/ a truck and we're moving most of the remaining larger items.  then i'll finish packing up the remainder of the smaller items and start on packing up the bathroom (1box worth of stuff, max) and the kitchen (less than 1/2 a day to pack) and, hopefully, have most of the day tuesday and all day weds --> fri to clean the apt sufficiently to get back most of my security deposit.

so, things are progressing on the moving front, but lets stop to take stock of the situation.

• virtually all that i own is being boxed and "shelved" into a storage unit.
• i still haven't been on a date since feb or early mar.
• when i'm not slammed with packing and have time to relax, i realize how horribly depressed i am.
• my life is in such disarray, i need to move into a guest bedroom @ a buddy's (w/ him & his fiancé).
• still no money.
• $100,000 in student loan debt.
• still no job.
• really depressed.
• utter dejected and broken.