the glimmer is a lie - post 105

after trying something most uncharacteristic - being optimistic, the Fates & Furies have promptly put my ass back in it's proper place.  i'd like to thank them for that.

in my last post it had seemed as though i just might have found "the one" jobwise.  on the day that the posting was to close, i received an email stating that they had well over 100 additional applicants beyond what they had hoped to receive.  over 180 in total.  with impressive and varied qualifications, experience and skills.  translation: "i b fuck'd, yo"

so, yeah.  that's a thing.

Chuck & Beans 8/10/12  http://www.shoeboxblog.com/?p=31997

i'm dealing with it in accordance with expectations - sleeping over 16hrs a day and trying to avoid everyone as much as possible.  

and by contacting a military recruiter.  on the upside, if i die, my family gets something out of it.  as opposed to the present situation.  i can't even get a reply from a couple places i'm trying to volunteer at.  i'm thoroughly unwanted, it seems.  

in the rare hours that i'm awake, i've been reading.  ran 3x this week.  3 days of pushups for the 100 pushup summer challenge.  tried to go rock climbing - fucking rain / lightning ran us off the rock.

trying to stay on top of the goings on of the olympics.... pretending that it gives my life some manner of purpose and meaning.  

the ex (#1) was just hired to a new job.  10 days / month worked.  11 in a row off.  nice pay raise / benefits expansion...  must be nice.

i may have seen a^4 yesterday.  not sure though.  not that it really matters anyhow.

otherwise, there's nothing at all going on.  part of why i've barely posted.  life's just kind of circling the drain...