as it turns out - a^4 canceled for monday, but said she still wanted to get together this week. so tonight (friday), we're going out for dessert, a small dinner then to a party for some arts gathering. this is kind of shaping up like a "date"...
i'm really nervous about how this is going to go. i haven't seen her since waking up in the morning in her bed after she freaked out (after calling me at 0200 to come over) about moving too fast and not being able to be in a relationship. we got along so well back in december though, i'm thinking that we'll just start talking and everything will be good. but, does she want to try again? do i want to? are there good reasons to? should it be avoided at all costs?
no idea.
really, i just don't know how this is going to go or what she's looking for out of getting together. nor am i sure what i'm looking for. i don't even know that i'll be able to bring myself to ask her what happened back those 9 long months ago...
there's too much uncertainty here, i'm having a hard time falling asleep as my mind plays through the endless array of possibilities for how this night could play out.
"apprehensive" is an understatement
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