Listening to The Birthday Massacre's "Pins and Needles" album.
Just finished watching "The Ugly Truth"
Current time: 0311 Sat 11 May 2013
needless to say, this one has potential to be interesting. grab a fucking pot of coffee.
let's pick things up from our last meeting, shall we? first up - the date that was forecast to happen, didn't. she canceled due to it being exam week and she said she had too much to do.
we continued to message each other regularly.
the triumphant return during the 1st week of may didn't occur. however, i returned for a long weekend. this is where things take some weird turns.
i returned on saturday 04 may & arranged for a hotel. on cinco de drinko, i stayed with a friend i played hockey with. monday, i stayed with a buddy (the one from the model party post) and managed to get a nice nearly 4mi run in. tuesday, i had lunch with #1 and checked out a room that a buddy is renting out before returning to NY.
Saturday 04 May 2013:
i woke up stupid early to make the 5.5-6hr trek to spend the long weekend in the midwest. arrived and went to a craft show with a friend. we had coffee and caught up. i went to the library to pick out some movies. (Tarantinoing here: since things fell through in mid april, this girl from the last post and i arranged for a date saturday. we were going to go to have tea then walk around the arts district for a monthly gallery event. thursday, she messaged me and told me that she's been so busy, all she wants is a night in - cuddling and watching movies - to relax. i agreed. my decision making doesn't improve from here...) then i went to check in to the hotel, shower and get ready. she messaged me: family emergency. she was going to have to cancel again. :-( oh well, i went out for coffee and reading. she messaged again: her mother is going to take care of things, can we still meet later? i returned to the hotel after a while to read and wait. she called. she arrived and was on her way up.
opening the door, i kind of started. she wasn't quite what i was expecting from the images she sent me. taller and thicker than i anticipated. we hugged. i invited her in. made very awkward small talk. hopped on the bed and went through the movies. picked one & started it. she had said she wanted to cuddle when we met, but she was fairly standoffish and wasn't coming across as warm to me. i tried to give her a bit of friendly massaging and putting an arm around her. she still seemed closed off. shit was getting even more awkward. finally, i figured 'wtf? nothing to lose here' and leaned in and whispered in her ear that i've wanted to kiss her for the past 3wks. she was receptive to that and we started to kiss.
that was the turning point for the night. from then on, we kissed and caressed. she told me i was taking too long and started pulling her clothes off... more caressing & kissing. we started playing. she was incredibly wet. obvious that she was completely dtf.
i don't see the point of getting too into things here. i fingered her and went down on her and kissed and caressed her. she wanted to reciprocate. i kept making her wait b/c i wasn't quite ready for that yet. finally, i relented and let her go down on me - which she was begging to be able to do. i forewarned her multiple times that i generally don't finish the first couple of times i'm with someone (this became an issue later on). we started fucking. it was 'meh'. round one went on for nearly 2.5hrs. she seemed very satisfied - until she realized that i really didn't finish. then she got pissed. during our (awkward again) discussion afterwards, she kept asking if she was the best i had (nowhere close), if she was really tight (i mean, it was okay, but nothing to write home about), how her oral skills were (again, lackluster considering that she had told me that she was incredible at it). so, i was telling her some things she could do to make going down on me more enjoyable. i started to finger her again then she was immediately into things again. she started going down on me before we began round 2 (1.5hrs).
there was no secret between us that we both liked things more on the rougher side. throughout both rounds, i was pulling her hair and choking her - both things she wanted as well. but, she kept telling me to call her names and degrade her... i called her everything i could think of - bitch, slut, cunt, whore, tramp, harlot, cum-dumpster. slapped her across her face and breasts. spit in her face (which she was totally turned on by). fishhooked her. took a bandana and tied a knot into it and used it to gag her. fucked her as hard as i could while pulling her hair with one hand and choking with the other. i played along with the dirty talk she wanted.
again, it was a really long time, i usually don't finish, blah blah blah. well, she started getting pissed again that i didn't. she went down on me again (but i had to fight to keep things going on my end and assist things along a bit and just barely managed to finish with all of that).
she seemed a bit happier that was accomplished. she cleaned up and got dressed and left. i jumped straight into the shower and brushed my teeth and fell into fitful, restless sleep.
yeah, it wasn't that great - but it was the first sex i had in 14mos to the day. it was rough. i was able to hit her (within the bounds we set for how rough we wanted it) and say some pretty wild shit that i've been wanting to say to younger women about their lack of self-respect and what fucking whores they are. it felt good getting that out. achievement unlocked x3: 1) fucking someone more than 10yrs younger than me (she is 20. just over 13yrs younger) 2) fucking on the first 'date' (though, you'd be hard pressed to call meeting at a hotel to stay in a 'date') 3) fucking a woman born in the 1990s.
the rest of the weekend went off without a hitch. i managed to garner a job offer (which i've since accepted) and worked out living arrangements to move back next weekend. was able to see multiple friends i haven't seen in a long time. so, yeah - that stuff was all positive.
monday, this girl and i were talking again. she seemed like she wanted to get together again... i told her, i could reserve a hotel room for tuesday night. she said that she wanted that so we could hook up and fuck again before i left. tuesday morning i woke up to a message from her that she wasn't feeling well and couldn't get together. i told her to get better and take care & we'd see each other next time. after getting back to NY, i messaged her wed to see if she was feeling better. she indicated she was, but "we can't sleep together anymore". i inquired if she still wanted to talk and hang out. "no". okay - best wishes blah blah blah.
something tells me that i should be disappointed about being rejected again. by a 20y/o that i ended up not really being interested in - especially after some of our conversations after the last post. but all i could manage was "meh. who the fuck cares?"
now i only have about a week left before i move back, settle into a new apartment setup (with housemates, though...) and start working full-time again on a regular schedule. now i'm hopeful that a rewrite of my profile and an active attempt to message women again (abandoned since i realized that i was going to need to go to NY for a while) will result in more positive results since i've fucked some tension out and met my goals for fucking someone that young and was completely underwhelmed by it.
here's hoping things keep looking up...
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